DAY 52 - 28th September, Saturday
Keri didn't get out of bed until gone 2pm but less than 15 minutes after getting dressed her key nurse, Cat, came in and spoke to her. She told Keri that all her leave has been cancelled and isn't going to be reviewed until Monday. After what happened yesterday it hardly came as a surprise! It was established that Keri still felt the same so they kept the HDU garden locked so that Keri couldn't try getting over the fence while staff were in the main ward. Because Keri had been in bed she hadn't had her morning or midday medication so Cat went to get it for her and she took it without complaint.
Keri's now officially on hourly obs, even though on paper they're supposed to check everyone every 10 minutes in the HDU. She found out that she'd been the only one on 10 minute obs, the other three patients were all fine! Everyone kept saying how quiet it was down there and Keri's ended up being restrained at least 3 times in the last 24 hours and been heard screaming and shouting both in seclusion and in her room. She's destroying the peace by being the most unpredictable patient on the ward right now! None of the staff know what's going to happen from one minute to the next at the moment!
Because Keri wasn't allowed out into the garden in the HDU she had to settle for going out into the communal garden which she didn't mind too much as Denny (pseudo name) was out there and Keri gets along very well with him. Keri sat and smoked, waiting for her medication to kick in. Then Bitch came outside (she was admitted again yesterday and after the evening Keri had it wasn't nice to have that piled on top! Luckily at that point she was on one to one).
At first she wasn't too bad. She was just annoying Keri with her tone deaf singing but then suddenly Bitch decided to turn on Keri and start being point blank nasty again. She was sat a few feet away on a bench next to another patient while Keri was sitting on the side of one of the big wooden vegetable patches. The wood is thick so it's like sitting on a bench, just slightly lower down. Eventually Bitch decided to sit next to Keri on the plant box. She carried on and on. Then came a point when Keri completely lost it. She stood up, grabbed Bitch by the collar of her coat and chucked her against the wall and onto the floor.
"Don't you fucking dare talk about things like that!" Keri screeched, as Bitch started to get up. "You know absolutely fuck all about me!"
"I'm not scared of you," Bitch said, as Keri held Bitch's collar in both hands.
"I don't give a shit if you're not scared of me!" Keri shouted. "One more word and I swear to god I will punch you."
"Go on then," Bitch said. "Nobody likes you. You're all on your own. You never get visitors. You're so nasty that not even your family want you anymore."
And with that, Keri clenched her fist and punched Bitch straight in the jaw before throwing her back against the wall and storming inside, Bitch attempting a feeble kick from behind. As Keri got back on the ward from the garden she went absolutely mental as she stormed up to the desk.
"That's fucking it!" Keri shouted at the nurse behind reception. "Either she leaves the ward or I do!"
"Keri," the nurse said. "What's happened?"
"That fucking bitch outside! If she doesn't get moved then I'm going to punch her again!" she shouted, crying uncontrollably.
"You hit her?" the nurse said.
"She was asking for it! Ask any of the patients who were there, Denny is still sat outside and saw everything!"
One of the other patients at the desk put her arm around Keri's shoulders because she knew what Bitch was like and felt so sympathetic because of how hysterical Keri's crying was. Keri never cries that badly in front of people unless there's a VERY good reason for it.
Suddenly Bitch came in from the garden and shouted Keri had stolen her cigarettes (which obviously she hadn't done and everyone knew that). One of the staff set the alarms off as it was obvious another fight was going to break out.
"What's going on?" they asked.
"There's been a fight out in the garden," one of the nurses said.
Seven members of staff ended up having to sort out the situation. Two members of staff walked with Bitch to her room, not even holding onto her. She was still shouting provoking comments so Keri tried going for her again but there were too many staff members around and she ended up getting restrained by Cat and Andrex. They held onto her arms and tried getting her to her room down in the HDU. After they'd got there and it looked like Keri wasn't going to kick off and try running back to hit Bitch, Andrex left and Keri was sat with Cat on her bed.
They had a long chat and Cat unlocked the HDU garden and sat with Keri while she had a cigarette and calmed down.
"Keri, I don't want you to feel like you're being punished," Cat said while they sat outside. "But I think it's best if we keep you staying down in the HDU for a while until you've calmed down. After that, and when you're calmer, then you can start using the communal areas okay? Will you give me your word that you won't try climbing the fence?"
"I won't," said Keri. "I feel a bit calmer now. I think some time out here with some cigarettes and watching something on my iPad will help. But I need to make a coffee."
"Give me your mug and I'll go to the dining area and get you a mug of hot water, then you can sort out your coffee down here."
Five minutes later and Keri was sat watching Orphan Black (great new series on the BBC if you haven't seen it yet), with a pack of cigarettes and a cup of coffee. After a couple of hours she was out in the communal areas again and hasn't seen Bitch since their fight!
The staff managed to persuade Keri to go down to Woodside to the gymnasium for an hour of badminton. This, in a way, is a good thing as it got her off the ward and away from Bitch. But the problem is it's exercise and Keri gets very obsessive. She's had nothing to eat today and all she thought about while playing badminton wasn't about winning or losing, it was about calories. It was a good time though, it was a good group of patients that went down with staff, all of which had unescorted leave besides Keri; but staff were there so it wasn't an issue as they were only going to the outpatients and therapies ward - aka Woodside.
Keri's finally been given a key to her room which also has a personal alarm attached to it just in case Bitch starts getting in her face again, Keri can just set it off and the staff will come out and make sure no other physical fights happen. The problem is it involved Keri being restrained again. All of it has to be put down on paperwork. They'll also have to write down on her risk assessment about physical aggression to other patients. Even though Keri was heavily provoked, it was still her that initiated a physical fight. With all this on her record, it's not looking good for her ward round. Luckily the staff know what Bitch is like and are going to try getting her moved again. Brian came to see Keri while she was restricted to the HDU for a short time and said that Bitch had been told she wasn't allowed near Keri and if she did then the staff would remove her from wherever Keri was; for instance if Keri was sat smoking and chatting in the communal garden and Bitch came out and started provoking her again then the staff would come out and take her either to the female garden or just onto the ward so that another fight doesn't break out.
Overall the staff are quite wary around Keri at the moment due to her risk and unpredictability. After speaking to Cat this morning Keri apologised about the night before and said she'd dissociated. Cat already knew that this was the case due to the extreme difference in her normal behaviour. Keri has never sworn at the staff directly or been violent towards them. Sally on the other hand did that last night, calling them pricks and trying to punch them. It was quite clear that it wasn't Keri. She's quite glad that the staff knew that! They've obviously learned over time about Keri's DID and what happens if she dissociates, especially if it's Sally.
Well, it's gone 12.30am so Keri will be going and getting her fifth dose of medication soon. I doubt she'll sleep very quickly though. She's too wound up. So I will just keep updating the DID page every now and then until she goes to sleep. I doubt it'll be for another few hours.
As they say, tomorrow is another day. A clean slate.
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