DAY 44 - 20th September, Friday
Another night of nightmares and another night of not getting to sleep, this time not even settling until nearly 5am! So she ended up hibernating until 12pm when a nurse came in and said that her personal advisor from Wiltshire Social Services was here to see her. That meant Keri leaping out of bed, running around to dump some clothes on, scuffling her hair about a bit to make it more presentable, grabbing her cigarettes and then making her way to reception. Her P.A. had bought some more of her stuff over, including makeup for Clarissa (and Trix if she comes out) and Jimmy's Lego! So he can have some pre-arranged time out to play properly. I've completely run out of ideas to keep him occupied while he's inside and Keri's out. Now it'll be hard to get him back in if we let him out to play with the Lego!
Keri had her psychotherapy session today. It didn't start well as only a minute before her psychotherapist arrived one of the patients (let's call her Bitch!) really annoyed her. Dizzy was out there defending Keri as she's normally quite passive but after a while she lost her temper and was quite literally screaming at Bitch. I've never heard her so angry. If her psychotherapist hadn't arrived it would've ended up with Sally coming out properly instead of only partially and turning it into a full-blown physical fight; not something we want happening if we want to be discharged!
Her therapy session was quite good. I didn't spend much time with them. I was getting increasingly suspicious of Clarissa. She'd been out for a short time earlier in the day but I had no idea what for. I was right to be suspicious as well because she's been out again (just after dinner time) and there's ten pounds missing from Keri's purse. I really hope Clarissa hasn't found someone who is dealing cannabis otherwise that will just add to our problems, but there's nothing else Clarissa could have used the money on! Normally money missing from her purse could mean clothing, make up, girls stuff, but considering we're in hospital and Keri hadn't gone on any leave while she dissociated then drugs is the only thing she can buy.
Keri went to the supermarket with Abz this evening and decided she was going to binge, but she did it with healthy food like carrot sticks and some vegetable pasta thing. She doesn't feel so guilty about doing it if it's not chocolate or sweets. However it doesn't stop her throwing it all down the toilet... Keri did speak to Abz on the walk back about her alters though. It started off talking about Jimmy because of the Lego Keri has but then it turned to Clarissa. What surprised me, and Keri, was how much Abz knew about Clarissa. She knows that if Keri's wearing make up, flirting and looking quite chirpy then it's not Keri. Abz seemed to know her in and out! She even remembers during our last admission about Clarissa's little party when she drank a bottle of vodka and had some weed, which then led to the staff finding Keri half unconscious on her bathroom floor. Of course, Keri had no idea what had happened until afterwards and hearing the staff talking as they searched her room and put her in the recovery position etc. Clarissa can't get any vodka. Well, I suppose technically she could through another patient just like she's able to get drugs smuggled onto the ward. God damn you, Clarissa! Can you at least try and behave? You can party all you want but let's get out of here first okay?!
OH GOD. Keri's mum and her partner are visiting tomorrow and I've totally forgotten to tell Keri. She knows they're visiting at some stage (really long story and conversations and arguments between me and her, not going to get into it as I could probably write tonnes) but doesn't know it's tomorrow! Sugar, honey, iced tea. Maybe it's better coming from the staff. I'm not going to tell her now as it's gone 3.30am and she needs to settle down. I don't want her racing around until 5am again. This is just getting stupid. She's not even tired at the moment! Just watching Alan Carr's Spexy Beast DVD. He is sort of funny I guess. I think maybe you have to be in the mood? Or maybe my comedy preferences are just different to Keri's.
P.S. Just an observation but I've noticed if someone ends up in hospital with a broken leg or pneumonia then they're surrounded by 'Get Well Soon' cards. Does that happen when it comes to mental illness? I haven't seen a single person in this hospital with one! Is that because of the stigma attached to being mentally ill?
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