Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 16 days

Written by Fox.

Keri woke up this morning with her eye so swollen she could barely even open it. This was due to the burns she's inflicting near her eyes. The staff have let her have her lighter but she's burned herself twice today and it was during the daylight hours! The staff have her lighter now, though they've only had it for the last half an hour because Keri freaked out again but I'll get onto that later.

Extreme makeover for the hospital, courtesy of the CQC. Bathroom doors have been removed and protective sheets are now stuck on the windows, you can't see outside now! This has meant Keri's gone from having her bathroom kept locked all the time to having no door... Luckily she hasn't tried to use any ligatures today so still hoping she'll have a better night. She's had enough medication! They've doubled her dose of Olanzapine to the maximum 20mg and she's had a lot of PRN from when she's been hallucinating and freaking out.

Her first bad episode happened early afternoon when she was found by the physio huddled under her desk again, rocking and hyperventilating. Yet again unresponsive to verbal communication and even to physical contact for a bit as she was in a bad flashback. The physio managed to get through to her and took her out for a walk in the garden and a cigarette before she went inside and left Keri to it in her room. She's still on ten minute obs anyway. After this freak out Keri decided she was going to make a noose out of shoelaces 'just in case' and hid it. Unfortunately I can't do anything as she did it while me and David etc were busy dealing with Sally's emotions.

The second freak out she had was early evening when the staff found her rocking very violently on her bed and crying. It took a while yet again to get through to her but once they did they got her up for another cigarette and gave her some Lorazepam. It took a while for her to calm down again.

The worst freak out happened about an hour ago when Keri was deeply involved with a flashback. Instead of the usual responses of being disorientated and shouting at staff to 'stop that man taking her', she didn't. She was too deep within her flashback to know what was going on. The staff touched her and she instantly shouted that she had to catch her dad as he had her baby daughter in his arms and ran off. So Keri dumped the pills the staff had in her mouth, swallowed them and then rushed out of her door. She was looking everywhere for her dad even when the staff were trying to stop her. She was even barging into other patients' rooms! By the time it got to the point where she was going to raid the male corridor the staff shut the door to the corridor to physically stop her going down there and be able to sit her in a room with staff to get grounded. She can't remember half of what she did as it all turns into a blur. That's why the staff currently have her lighter due to her high risk presentation (well, higher than the usual high!).

Keri did manage to get out with IH again today to get a Costa but she was hallucinating and having flashbacks while she was out which hadn't happened before. Usually going out with IH is the break Keri needs from the ward to get some air and try to calm down, but this time it just stressed her out. Now she's scared to go out again. We don't need her turning agoraphobic again!

Is there something good I can say today? We're alive.

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 15 days

Written by Fox.

Well Keri was woken up at 11am for a ward round that was pretty unconstructive as her usual psychiatrist wasn't there. Unfortunately they had to discuss the possibility of having to go to ECH due to her state of mind right now. Because she was woken at 11am she ended up falling asleep in the afternoon which means she wasn't able to do her physio but did force herself to get out with IH (one of the two staff Keri most trusts, I'll use their initials for confidentiality) to get a coffee and some cigarettes.

Due to the fact it's being considered that she may have to go to ECH they got a nurse to come over from the unit to have a discussion about it. While he looked at the stuff in her room he just turned around and said Keri would hate it there, even if it was for a short amount of time (she wouldn't even be allowed her iPod unsupervised). This freaked Keri out a little bit but when she went out with IH he was very reassuring and explained that it wasn't another rejection and him and the rest of the staff are going to help support her as much as possible so that she doesn't get transferred.

By the time it hit around 7pm Keri really got bad and deteriorated very quickly. FF (the other one of Keri's most trusted member of staff) found her huddled underneath her desk, rocking and unresponsive. She did respond to physical touch after a while but she was really freaked out by seeing her daughter. She kept following Keri and every time she touches her Keri feels like it burns her and actually sees the handprint burned into her skin! FF managed to finally get her out from under her desk and down to the clinic room to get her some extra meds but Keri was getting worse. She ended up shooting across the room and hiding by a corner as she was still hallucinating her daughter. IH came in after a while to chat to Keri along with FF. 

No matter what people say to Keri she still feels like she's a monster. While her, IF and FF were in the clinic room, they were both trying to convince her that what happened wasn't her fault and that anybody who was in the situation Keri had been in wouldn't have been able to do anything much different. It didn't sink through though and she got freaked when her daughter started shouting that she made a dart out the clinic room and down the corridor to try and enter the pin to get out of the back door. This resulted in IF and FF having to restrain her, not in a bad way but more in a "you're not going anywhere" kind of way. After ten minutes of her refusing to go back down the corridor IF and FF had to force her along the corridor. When they got out onto the main ward area they sat Keri down in one of the dining room chairs as she was still an utter mess.

After FF deciding it was probably a good idea to have her anti-psychotics a bit earlier than normal, she took the medication and went outside with IH to have a couple of cigarettes and have a talk. She was still in tears. She stayed sat in the dining room on one to one with IH for a while with a cup of tea but she kept hallucinating and getting caught up in flashbacks which IH kept having to get her out of or reassure her. Several times she even started trying to claw out her eyes! While FF and IH were both with her they had to stop her by taking her wrists and moving them away from her eyes. It was horrible to see. One of the patients she gets along well with lingered around. He said to IH that he was sad and when IH asked him why he said it was because he could see his friend Keri so upset and distressed.

Keri's sat with staff watching Family Guy at the moment. She still keeps trying to claw at her eyes and getting caught up in flashbacks so it's good for her to have the company. She's not on one to one but the staff are trying to encourage her to use the emergency call button on her wall next to her bed. She's doing those loom band things to keep herself busy but is still distressed. Unfortunately we're one step closer to being transferred to ECH. Hopefully it doesn't happen but in my opinion, I think we'll end up there for a short while, medicated until she can't move...

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 2 weeks

Written by Fox.

Keri's been freaking out again today. She hasn't gone out at all as she was too scared to as she's seeing her daughter during the day now. She had her psychotherapy appointment which was mainly talking about the contact ban between her and her biological mum. She also had her daily physio and is still unfortunately having to remain on crutches whenever she has to go off the ward (she doesn't do much walking on the ward and they can be used as weapons so that's an issue too). The physio has started taking her to the gym now to strengthen her ankle so she'll be able to use it again properly without walking with her foot pointing out to the side.

Things started getting hard around 5PM. She started hallucinating. She distracted herself by decorating her walls with her drawings due to the fact she's going to be here at least another couple of months. The distraction didn't work for long and the staff found her huddled on top of her wardrobe again. It took medication and one of the staff talking to her for an hour before she finally got down and walked down to the nurses station to sit in there with her iPad and catch up on some programmes on iplayer. The staff were very good with her. There was someone there constantly and she got plenty of cups of tea! She was there for a good couple of hours but there was a stage where she freaked out again from hallucinating and shot underneath the desk crying as she was so scared. The member of staff who talked her down from the wardrobe managed to do the same thing talking Keri from getting out from underneath the desk and getting her back onto one of the chairs to carry on watching her programme. He even gave her one of his bars of chocolate! He's a lovely guy. He's the one that Keri's little brother has a crush on!

She's been on one to one smoking all day and isn't allowed her lighter. This has stopped her burning herself during the day but since the night shift started she's now burned her face three times and it's not even midnight. The staff come out and light her cigarette but she's lying to them and saying she's fine out there on her own. How the hell are they believing this?! It's barely 11.30pm and she's already burned three times! Hopefully the staff will catch on to that. They aren't idiots but sometimes I really get tired of them trying to take risks to assess Keri's capability of taking responsibility for herself. I know they have to so they know but Keri's not exactly going to wave her face at them and go "HEY LOOK WHAT IVE DONE". She'll just keep her hood up... Although even that doesn't really hide the burns very well.

She's got Family Guy on again! I'm beginning to love it. I like the world dominating baby and the talking dog. I don't know their names. Keri's obsessions are starting to rub off on me! In fact it's on now while I'm writing this!

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 13 days

Written by Fox.

I bet you were hoping I was going to write that things were getting better. No hope! She had brief respite when her brother came to visit yesterday. He distracted her and they were having a great laugh playing charades for a couple of hours but things got a bit dodgy when Keri started hallucinating. Her little brother was really good with her though and while they were at the desk he put his arm around her shoulder while she leaned his head on him. He was very reassuring and didn't seem to bat an eyelid even though she was hallucinating. He is truly Keri's rock.

Keri had a really good catch up with our foster mum as well which definitely lifted Keri's spirits for a few hours. I think she needed a good phone call. Our foster mum is still recovering but she's a lot better than she was! Keri is going to talk to the support worker here who does home visits that need to be escorted and hopefully they'll have a conversation about a home visit. Fingers crossed. Although with Keri's mental health at the moment it may turn out a bit awkward than normal. If anyone takes Olanzapine, I'd love your feedback about dosage and how it helped or effected you with psychotic symptoms.

Keri's still been burning her face every day with the exception of today. She's freaked out twice due to her hallucinating. She even ended up on top of her wardrobe shouting at her hallucinated daughter and throwing boxes. The staff had to get her down and get some medication in her as she was getting really upset and distressed. Her bedroom was then locked and Keri was out in the communal area with her iPad and headphones. It happened again a couple of hours ago when she went into her bathroom to wash. She hallucinated again and shouted out to the nurse just outside, despite the fact she was half naked... That's how freaked out she was! Dignity wasn't even an issue! Everyone's quite worried about Keri's mental health slowly getting worse. A lot of them have commented and have said they really don't like this. I don't blame them. She's back on one to one smoking. She was off it for a couple of days but due to the events of today the staff have had to take charge and responsibility as Keri is currently incapable of doing so.

Just have to keep praying that things will be okay. I read her care plan earlier and it mentioned that if Keri can't handle the responsibility of having her lighter etc then it's been discussed that she may have to be moved to ECH which is the psychiatric intensive care unit next door, otherwise known as a PICU. Let's hope it doesn't get to that point.

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 9 days

Written by Fox.

****** TRIGGER WARNING - Photos I took of Keri at the bottom again. Stop scrolling at the line of stars at the bottom of the post if you feel you may be triggered.

Keri has destroyed her face now all because of her being haunted by her daughter. The staff temporarily put in place that she couldn't have a lighter and had to go out on one to one while smoking but that still didn't stop her so now they've just given back her lighter. They know she'll do it even if they try putting things in place to stop her so it was pointless just restricting her more and more if things aren't helping. A lot of the staff do try doing one to ones at night though. On a couple of occasions Keri has dissociated into a trance and started rapidly writing all over the floor not realising what she was writing. The staff take a while trying to get Keri's attention as she's normally unresponsive until someone touches her but then she freaks out so I'm very glad the staff have gotten used to this and know to say who they are and where she is and give her some medication to keep her calm.

In her last ward round the psychiatrist has said that there's two locked units that he's going to refer Keri to. One is called Heatherwood Court (which is the preferable option for both Keri and the rest of her mental health team) and the other is St. Andrews. So it's a waiting game for a few more months again. Her psychiatrist also changed a lot of her medication in one session. He put her Diazepam back up to 30mg instead of continuing to wean off, he's put her straight onto 10mg of Olanzapine instead of Quetiapine, he's added another 50mg to her Sertraline dose... It's ridiculous. I'm wondering why Keri isn't in a coma half the time and why she still isn't sleeping! At about 11pm she was given 10mg Olanzapine, 10mg Diazepam, 2mg Lorazepam and 50mg Promethazine. Maybe I'm wrong but shouldn't Keri be asleep by now even though it's only been half an hour? They have given her a lot as she was crying and crying.. Staff even made her a nice hot chocolate. I can't emphasise how much they're really taking care of her. Plus she's still alive! Despite another ligature attempt.

She had a surprise visit from her old respite carers the other evening which was really nice for Keri. I haven't seen her laugh properly for weeks but they were really good at cheering her up. They've even offered to take her with them to their caravan once her mental health is better which Keri will love. 

I hope very much that Keri gets better soon. I know she's got a long way to go but at least getting her out of her depression and suicidality (including the stress-induced psychotic symptoms she gets). She's definitely not going to get any unescorted leave now it's decided she's going to a locked ward. Sally will take any chance to run.

And look at this! This arrived today for Keri. It was Jyestha's emergency care package that she sent. It's nine packets of timtams! Her brother might actually get to taste some on Saturday as Keri is pretty much fluid fasting, even though she just gave in to a cupcake her one to one brought in with a hot chocolate! Her body was craving sugar I think due to her crying.

At least we now know where Keri will be going and the waiting is the hard bit. The nurses are supportive and her bathroom is still locked and supervised. At least she's alive but at times it's just like she's a walking zombie. She spends most of her time lying or sitting on her bed. Her social life is limited as she's keeping herself withdrawn. Keep messaging her guys! Maybe it'll bring her out of her shell!

Will catch up with you soon guys!

**** Trigger Stars! Stop scrolling if you feel vulnerable. **************

This side is still swollen 😞

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 4 days

Written by Fox.

*****TRIGGER WARNING: Photo of Keri at the bottom of this post with the second-degree burns she's done over last night and the night before.*****

Well, with even more sleep deprivation I think Keri's setting the world record of how many times she can break down into tears in one day with staff having to try calming her down! She's very emotional right now which is another common side effect of not sleeping enough. After falling asleep at gone 3am she was back up before 6am. She was trying to force herself to stay awake but fell asleep for another hour at 8am. She's in serious need for some extra temporary sleep medication. The nurses said that even if the medication made her do nothing but be in bed for a few days it might calm down a lot of her symptoms.

Like I said last night about being very doubtful Keri was going to get through the night without any more burns on her face, well, I was right. I managed to get out for a minute or two to quickly nab a photo. That's why there's a trigger warning at the beginning of the post. The photo was taken this afternoon so won't include any damage tonight and, considering how much she's been crying about how horrible she is as a human being, I'm thinking she'll be adding more. I hope she doesn't go to the extent of having burns all over her face! I hate to see her in this state as it is!

She had a quick appointment with the physio today who gave her some mobility exercises to do for the next three days for when the physio starts seeing her again when she comes back into work on Tuesday. Her therapy session with her psychotherapist wasn't too successful. Keri went into a dissociative trance again and subconsciously started drawing while Fiona read to her for an hour. The rest of us could hear what Fiona was talking about but it felt like hearing it all underwater. She was trying to talk about coping with crisis. Despite Keri burning her face and trying to get away with ligatures, she's coping okay. Some people would be gobsmacked that I'd say that but considering what Keri is capable of doing, it may still be a terrible position to be in, but it definitely could be worse.

She managed to get out with staff again and get her nice sugary costa cooler thing. She's had a lot of sugary drinks today as she's now decided to start fluid fasting until she manages to get down to 40kg again, which will ruin the progress she made working to get her weight up to 50kg! Keri's seriously gone passed caring now though.

There was outrage when Keri heard about the professionals meeting yesterday. It was the psychiatrist and other staff from the ward. Her psychotherapist, personal advisor and care coordinator weren't there. Keri was so angry! You should've seen her shooting to Tesco on her crutches with staff to get her costa! The adrenaline was unbelievable! She's definitely crash landed though. She's short-tempered, agitated, exhausted, suicidal and overall, crap. Though staff spoke to her after reading the minutes of the meeting and apparently it went well and everyone is fighting to get her into a specialist placement for dissociative disorders, even if it takes several months to find somewhere suitable. Keri was glad that they were concentrating on her primary diagnoses of Dissociative Identity Disorder and her psychosis, rather than looking at her secondary diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Me and David were very relieved to hear that! Now we've just got to get Keri through the next few months...

I really hope she doesn't do any more damage tonight. She's going to be on one to one every now and again so that she's kept a close eye on. The staff don't want anything to happen to her, especially trying to kill herself using bloody shoelaces!

************************

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 3 days

Written by Fox.

Keri had yet another sleep deprived night and only fell asleep properly around 11am this morning which meant she was in no condition to get out of bed to do her physio for her ankle today. She's seeing Keri every day anyway so she'll be back tomorrow morning.

Keri's managed to go out a couple if times with one of her most trusted staff again which has been nice getting Keri off the ward. He managed to lighten Keri's mood a little bit temporarily which I'm quite glad of. She's definitely built some upper arm muscle! She's finding being on crutches a lot less tiring than it was a week ago.

There's been a lot of people talking to Keri today about how she views herself. When asked about why she burned her face and her replying that if she's a monster on the inside then she should look like one on the outside, the staff have all said to her that she's not a horrible human being and not even close to being some kind of monster. Unsurprisingly this hasn't changed Keri's view of herself. She's now back to starving herself, vomiting, and ruining her face with more cigarette burns. It's a good job that the night shift staff are so supportive (and the day staff of course), especially when it means Keri needs to be on one to one obs for a while if she gets very distressed and scared.

Turns out the people working tonight are people that know Keri is having a terrible time. She's on one to one at the moment in her room with a member of staff to see if they can make sure that she doesn't burn her face again, unfortunately those thoughts are very strong in her head. I'm highly doubtful that by tomorrow morning Keri won't have additional burns on her face.

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 1 month 2 days

Written by Fox.

If things get much worse then the psychiatrist is going to have no choice but to send Keri to a psychiatric intensive care unit like ECH which is next door. She's still not sleeping well at all and can't concentrate on anything. When her psychotherapist came to see her on Monday, she was there for fifteen minutes speaking to Keri but she wasn't listening to a word she was saying. All she did was zone out and nod at the appropriate times. If I have to, I'll have to see the psychotherapist myself on Friday!

The night before last Keri and Sally decided that it was a good idea to commit suicide. Keri planned out how to sneak her dressing gown robe into the bathroom before her shower and also figured out how and where she was going to tie it for maximum effectiveness. A member of staff was sat outside while Keri had her shower, calling out to check she was okay every few minutes. Halfway through her shower she got freaked out by her hallucinations again. She didn't even dry herself off and just dumped some clothes on. She went straight to where she tied the noose she'd made. It was a very hard fight. Keri and Sally were fighting against me, David, Clari and five other alters. It was very hard to do but luckily after a couple of minutes when Keri stopped responding to the staff outside, all four of the staff on the night shift ended up opening her door and checking what was going on. She was in tears on her bathroom floor next to where she'd tied her ligature. The staff managed to pick her up and take her out to have a cigarette. Two of the staff went out with her while another went and got some additional medication. It took a long time for Keri to calm down and even drugged up to the eyeballs she was still being freaked out. After a couple of hours she did calm down a little, the medication made her body feel like a ton of bricks. The staff untied the noose from her bathroom and took it away obviously so she no longer has that, however she has a lot of stuff in her room!

Last night she went nuts again. She was thinking about acting on her suicidal thoughts again but decided to go to the desk and speak to staff about how distressed she was and her hallucinations. She didn't even really need to talk as you could tell just by looking at her what state she was in. There were two staff at reception, one of them went to get Keri extra medication. While Keri waited she saw the little girl again and she was shouting at Keri. When the staff came out with her medication she was well passed listening. The girl was getting louder and louder before Keri just lashed out and then ran into the staff area and huddled under the reception desk in the corner. This then involved all four staff having to try coaxing her out as she was too terrified to move. I've never seen her this bad while she's been regularly taking all her medication! Her ward round was pointless as her usual psychiatrist wasn't there and Keri's attention span is close to non-existent. The longest she's managed to keep most of her attention was when she phoned our foster mum today. Although it's been several hours since the call and Keri has pretty much forgotten everything they talked about. Her memory is terrible which is also a side effect of the sleep deprivation. She can't remember half the conversations she's had, though she's used to it because of dissociating anyway and with the way she's feeling she honestly doesn't care!

Another four weeks and Keri will get off her crutches and I think the first thing to happen will be Sally or Keri absconding! If I haven't mentioned why she's on crutches it was because she spent five days persistently pacing around the garden for several hours a day. She hurt her ankle after about day two but continued anyway. She's been seeing the physio every weekday and thankfully her ankle is improving but it won't be completely mobile for at least a few weeks from now.

Well, the night shift has just come on. Keri's already getting agitated. Hopefully we will have a calmer evening than the last two nights though. And hopefully Keri sleeps!! Send us some sleepy messages!

Edit: Keri has now gone and burned her face because she feels like a monster and wants people to think she's too horrible to go near. This is of course not true as she is not a monster. She's holding other people's responsibilities and guilt that she in no way should have to hold onto yet she can't see the other perspective. She is a loveable and funny woman and people love her company. Her self esteem has never been lower. The only times she's self harmed on her face is while she was psychotic last year and tried cutting a bug out of her head and one other time when Sally was angry and wanted to teach Keri a lesson which resulted in Keri needing stitches on her face. She's never done it deliberately like this before, and the pain she felt did disappear but only temporarily and now it's back. Relief only lasted a few minutes if that!

Sectioned in Hospital - 1 year 30 days

Written by Fox.

Wow, I didn't realise it had been so long since I wrote a post. I've almost forgotten how to blog! Sorry for the lack of posts but we've been pretty preoccupied with Sally. Since last posting she's now come out a few times and staff have had to restrain her, inject her and put her in seclusion until me and David are able to get Keri back out again, which is normally only possible right now if Sally's a bit drugged up. Luckily they have an intramuscular injection written on her chart in case of these emergencies.

Her eating? She was doing very well. She even managed to get her weight up to 50kg which, according to staff and the dietician is a perfect weight for her. Though because her BMI wasn't under 17.5 and is now in the healthy range she's now extremely annoyed that they haven't taken the eating disorder label away and have said she's bulimic instead! She thought it would disappear and the staff wouldn't think about it anymore. Unfortunately quite recently Keri's eating has got progressively worse and the only time she eats is after a severe flashback or panic attack and she needs sugar (I don't know about you guys but that's what Keri's body craves after that kind of thing happens).

Keri's section has now been renewed. Considering it's now the third Section 3 she's detained on this one doesn't have to be renewed for another twelve months whereas the first two were only six months each. No one has any idea where Keri is going or what treatment she's having. She's had a medium secure assessment and a forensic assessment, both of which have ended up in written reviews which will be discussed at Keri's CPA on Tuesday. She's terrified as all of this has been done behind her back. She wasn't even told about the assessments until an hour before any of them arrived (which were only four days apart!). Her psychiatrist will have the letters they've all written and a decision should be made during the part of the CPA Keri isn't allowed into. The forensic assessment didn't go very well and Keri got more and more passive aggressive the more she got annoyed. In the end she called the guy retarded and incompetent and then walked out...

Her bathroom is being kept locked due to her strong suicidal intent (she tried to kill herself with a ligature but thankfully staff stopped her). Since then her bathroom is locked unless she's supervised, which means any toilet or shower requests are done with a member of staff (female normally) standing just by the door. During the day she also keeps her bedroom door open as she's on ten minute obs and if something happens during those ten minutes the staff will hear. This is also the case at night and on the rare occasion that Keri does actually fall asleep the staff close the door until she wakes up. She was on one to one during night hours for a while but is slowly being weaned off depending on the situation. The situation at the moment isn't great as for the last four days she's had less than three hours sleep each night and is in severe sleep deprivation mode which the staff have noticed. It's got to the point that even though Keri is on the maximum dose of her antipsychotics she's started hallucinating again. It freaked her out so much this evening that she's been sat with staff talking about it and actually stayed out of her room for a whole three hours! Unbelievable isn't it?

The good thing is Keri is getting out each day to have a Costa, normally with one of her most trusted members of staff, she is still getting to see her brother who visits every week, she has 24 hour support from the staff and they've taken precautions to stop her doing serious harm to herself (which isn't a good thing in Keri's eyes but it is in mine!). I'm hoping to start blogging more now as I'm getting stressed trying to help David with Sally and this is my only way to vent. I know it's my safest way too as it not only gives people an insight into the life of someone with D.I.D. and other mental illnesses but it's safe for me to do on my own as Keri doesn't read any of the blog posts. I hope you guys are okay. We are definitely struggling but taking one day at a time as we're worried about our foster family too. Our foster mum had pneumonia and is slowly recovering, her foster dad has injured his back, one of her older foster brothers had an operation on his knee, and her other older foster brother had his business ruined when some selfish idiots went and robbed his place and stole all his motorbikes, quad bikes, tools, aka anything that was valuable and they could get their dirty little hands on.

To those that are also struggling, Keri is repetitively listening to a song by Nickelback. It's called Lullaby. It reminds her of people that care about her and sometimes she's listening as if those people are singing it to her, like her foster family or her brother. 

Keri is now seriously freaked by 'walking ghosts'. She's going to be on one to one with a member of staff soon after they get her a hot chocolate so I'm quickly adding this on. She thinks she's seeing dead people. Very upsettingly she's seeing a six year old girl who is claiming to be her dead daughter and asking Keri "Why did you let him kill me?" Keri, me, David and some others know about the story behind this but I'm not going to tell it. Both for legal reasons and from the point I really don't want to go there. What I can say is even though it's making Keri cry it's one of the first times I've seen Sally on the verge of tears as well. With a psychotherapy appointment booked tomorrow, everything could end up like an explosion, that's if Keri doesn't refuse to see her psychotherapist or if she does see her, actually listen to a word she's saying instead of sitting there in a dissociative trance... Let's just say Keri hasn't found her therapy sessions very useful recently and is starting to just disengage with everyone and deny that she even exists. 😞