Sunday 12 January 2014

Sectioned in Hospital - 5 months 4 days

Written by Fox.

DAY 158 - 12th January, Sunday

Keri was actually up before midday! She wanted to go back to sleep but her headache had gotten pretty bad. Her depression was telling her not to get up. She's still suicidal but doesn't want to do anything while she's on one to one observation. Sally hasn't come out today but Keri's head has just been getting worse and worse. If she doesn't come out this evening then it's got to be tomorrow or something. There's only so long Sally can control herself before she explodes.

Because of her headache and feeling tense, Keri's started rocking quite a lot and pacing around quite quickly. There's a lot of nervous energy that she needs to let out but she still feels tired. She doesn't went to pace yet does anyway because she can't help it. She'd prefer to be sat in her room watching movies, huddled in bed rather than feeling compelled to sit there rocking back and forwards.

Keri's illness that she had yesterday has triggered off her disordered eating again. She had a nice hot meal last night when her stomach stopped rejecting all food but then woke up this morning and decided this was the time she was going to get back down to her 'target weight'. She's even gotten to the point where she's going on a forum promoting disordered eating behaviours. She's been a member since last year but forgot about it when her eating wasn't so bad. Now she's back on it and has already joined a group of people who are going to start a fast tomorrow. Keri's already fasted today so she's getting in a head start there. I don't want her becoming really underweight again. She's already been on the brink of fainting today! Luckily she's stuck to Guitar Hero and hasn't started all her exercise yet.

Keri had a one to one with Matt and they went through my blog. Then Matt decided to have a go on Keri's Guitar Hero! He's never played it before and didn't get through a single song without getting booed off stage which I found quite funny. Giving him credit though, he did pretty well considering he's never played it before! But still terrible. That's the basis of Keri's exercise at the moment, standing up for so long though makes her dizzy. If the physiotherapist turns up tomorrow there's no way she's going to be able to take Keri to the gym to do her exercises, that's if she can get Keri to say yes anyway! Does the almost-fainting urge Keri to eat something? No. She sees it as a sign that she's doing well and losing weight. WHY CAN'T SHE UNDERSTAND SHE IS NOT FAT. She's either starving herself or deliberately making herself sick. Can't we find a happy medium? Apparently not. 

Hopefully we'll have good news tomorrow whatever comes out of this review thing. Everyone's still unclear about what on earth is going on with Keri, her placement and her obs levels. That'll be interesting tomorrow if she gets her leave all given back. May as well give Sally a free ticket to do what she wants and give Keri a suicide ticket. They can't keep her on this level of obs permanently though. It totally defeats the object of a rehabilitation unit. If the worst comes to the worst she'll be sent back to either the acute ward or the secure ward. 

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