DAY 176 - 30th January, Thursday
Keri planned on getting up early and actually woke up at 11am, fifteen minutes before her alarm was due to go off. Did she get up? No, she rolled over and decided to go straight back to sleep. She didn't get up until about 1pm. She's completely exhausted! You can tell just by looking at her eyes that even though she's sleeping it isn't refreshing or restful. She'd really like to get back to going to sleep before midnight, getting up early, exercising for a couple of hours, showering and then being ready for the day. Matt went through the blog today and I was hanging around and listening and he mentioned that I should try writing my blog posts earlier so it's about 11.15pm now. Ade asked Keri whether she'd been able to get me to write it earlier and she said she hadn't. She spent ten minutes in her room trying to talk me out! I'll come and do it when I want to! But I have come out earlier, but none of us come out if someone starts clicking their fingers!
Becki visited today with Rob who's a new personal advisor and is shadowing Becki at the moment. Keri said she didn't mind that he could come along today. People need to learn don't they? And he definitely learned a lot from meeting Keri I'm sure! She's... a very interesting person. I don't know of any other way to describe her. Intelligent? Funny? Strong willed? Compassionate? Not fat!? All of the above? Although try telling her that and she will totally blank out the good bits. Becki basically had a chat with Keri about what was happening over the last week, occasionally stopping to fill Rob in on bits he didn't know about. She'll be coming tomorrow as well for Keri's CPA meeting, hopefully with some of Keri's stuff from storage. I don't know how she fits all her stuff in her room. It's like Mary Poppins.
Less than fifteen minutes after Becki and Rob had left, Keri's mum and John arrived to come and visit. They came with cigarettes (which Keri gave them the money for when they got here, she doesn't have leave to get them herself, she's still on one to one and confined to the ward) and some coffee pods for her coffee machine. Good old mochas. They're my favourite coffee! They had a chat, John enjoyed watching a bit of Friends as Fi has given Keri the box set of all the episodes to borrow. Overall it seemed to be a good visit but for some reason Keri was feeling really guilty afterwards and she couldn't figure out what she was feeling guilty for. She also didn't realise why she was feeling upset, or why she wanted to cry. Her mum or John didn't say anything wrong or triggering. Maybe it's still the underlying thing between Keri and her mum. Keri still hasn't forgiven her fully for making her out to be a liar for a couple of years. That triggered off a lot of Keri's more serious symptoms.
Keri spoke to the staff a bit this evening as she's still on one to one which means someone is always there. While Gemma was Keri's "appointed stalker" she spoke to Keri outside and said she wanted to be honest and give Keri warning that even though they'd sorted out the plan for dealing with Sally if they could, there is still a chance people will want Keri moved to a secure hospital because of the amount they're having to keep Keri on one to one observation, they don't have the resources. The silver lining is, IF Keri had to move then as long as there's a vacancy here she'd be able to come back again if risks were lower and things had started settling down. We'll find out the outcome tomorrow. If Keri starts getting too tetchy then I may have to come out for a bit to make sure Keri keeps calm.
With Keri and Sally still fighting each other, her CPA could end one of two ways. Keri coming out fairly happy with the outcome, or Keri completely losing it, bursting into tears and Sally getting really tetchy. Let's hope for the first one shall we?
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