DAY 90 - 5th November, Tuesday
Keri didn't get up until around midday, and the only reason she dragged herself from her cocoon is because she knew that around 2pm her intermediary and an independent police officer were going to turn up with her video evidence so she could view it. The court case started today so she had to watch her evidence at the same time the court was watching it, although she wasn't watching it at court, she was going to be watching it in a private room in the hospital.
When they arrived, Abz also came along to sit and watch Keri's evidence with her so the four of them sat and watched it. It took ages to sort out playing it and ended up having to use Keri's laptop. It was clear that Keri's attention was completely elsewhere as the police officer commented that all she'd seen of Keri was that her eyes were just darting all over the place besides the rare moments when they were focused on her laptop screen. It was also clear that Keri wasn't very well and was in quite a dissociative state. Every time someone said something to her or had to speak to her, they'd have to say it at least twice before they managed to get Keri's attention, and even then she'd forget what they'd said a couple of minutes later.
Abz was finally able to take Keri back to the ward (they went to use a room in the outpatients unit) at about 5pm so she'd been there for 3 hours, obviously with smoking breaks whenever Keri got up and said, "I'm going to smoke." After that they just paused the DVD each time while Abz quickly followed her out into the hospital grounds while Keri smoked. It seemed to go on forever!
Keri's psychotherapist turned up afterwards just to check in on how Keri was doing and she wasn't good. Her flashbacks were getting worse and worse and her headaches she gets when a big dissociative episode is going to happen was getting worse as well. Her psychotherapist wished Keri good luck and said that she'd be in on Thursday to check in on things before having their usual appointment on Friday. Keri's optimistic that the court case should go smoothly like last time with no Sally incidents but I already know that Sally's going to kick off, and if she doesn't successfully get what she wants after Keri gets cross examined then she'll be laying in wait until the day afterwards.
We have to be up at 6.30am! Good luck to the staff for getting us out of bed. Clari is normally pretty good at that, she got us up early on Keri's birthday through excitement! But this is different and she definitely won't want to come out and help Keri to get out of bed, especially with all the extra medication Keri's had to have this evening.
Her mood wasn't too bad until about 8pm when she was sat wanting to cry but just couldn't force herself to, even though she knew she'd feel better letting it all out. It has to eventually hasn't it? At some stage she's just going to burst and crying will be inevitable. Instead of crying she went into another state of catatonia, which her psychotherapist has now said is a form of being in a dissociative state. It's been described before as the body not having a pilot. All of us are inside the body but none of us want to come out and take control, which means the body is sat completely still in the position it was left in and non responsive to any stimuli until one of us decides to come out and use it, almost like a tool! She then spent a few hours being sick in her bathroom because of how much her anxiety was effecting her, bearing in mind this was after all the drugs had started to kick in!
Well, she's had a lot of medication and I'm definitely feeling drowsy myself so probably won't publish this until tomorrow as I need to let Keri sleep. Night guys. I'm really hoping everything goes well.
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