DAY 113, 114 & 115 - 28th, 29th & 30th November, Thursday, Friday & Saturday
I went to visit Alder Unit with our psychotherapist on Thursday! It seems a very nice place. I wanted to see it for myself so the psychotherapist was kind enough to arrange that she could take me over, and also introduce me to the staff so they knew who I was. Most of the time we were with a guy called Matt who seemed really down to earth and was quick to cotton on to the fact I didn't talk. It was nice having the psychotherapist there as she could explain things a lot quicker than me having to write it all down. All in all I think we will like it in that unit, but it could cause some problems with the sudden freedom.
Keri didn't get up until 2pm on Friday. Even when the physio came in and tried getting Keri to do her exercises! She still refused to move. She gave the shock machine (whatever it's called) to the physio as the battery was running low. According to her it was working fine, bearing in mind it had been sat on Keri's bedside table all night. Fifteen minutes after Keri had put it on for the day and the battery thing started flashing again so she ended up buying some more batteries. She's keeping the receipt so she can get reimbursed after seeing how expensive the batteries were!
Keri had her psychotherapy session on Friday even though it was planned that I was going to attend. The truth was, we were all way too tired. Sally sucks all the energy out of us when she's going to do something and the rest of us are just left feeling like vegetables. The psychotherapist explained my alter map to Keri. I'd drawn out a map of our alters (Keri didn't even know about most of them) and Keri had seen it but not understood it. She explained what I'd done and what we'd spoken about when I'd had appointments with her. Keri was still confused by the end of it but it was explained as well as it could have been!
She didn't risk any unescorted leave yesterday as Sally was very restless and Keri was scared about what might happen if she went out. She asked the staff if she could have escorted leave to the supermarket (she's only allowed ground leave on her own anyway). The nurse said she was taking another patient out and that she could come along if she wanted. It was planned that one nurse was going to take both Keri and the other patient but it was later decided before leaving that another nurse should go because of Keri's risk level. It's a bit silly as she's moving to Alder Unit soon.
That night was bad! Keri had all her medication, and her sleeping medication, and by 4.30am she was still pacing and unsettled so she ended up being given some Lorazepam. That didn't work either! So she's had no sleep besides the point when she quite literally collapsed on her floor at around 10am. The staff were unable to give her any medication as she was out for the count! She woke up in the recovery position a few hours later but I've no idea whether the staff did that or whether Keri did it subconsciously.
So this afternoon Sally decided to screw us all over. I did wonder what she was going to do as we'd all felt so drained. She decided to cut open Keri's wrist again except she took it a step too far. She needed 16 stitches just for one cut, each having to be doubled over because of the depth. Keri was very lucky to find the cut when she did. Given the chance Sally would've cut it deeper and would've likely hit some serious blood vessels or a vein etc.
While at the hospital the nurse who escorted her said she was lucky she hadn't been moved to ECH. Apparently due to Keri's self harm there had been much discussion about it, especially due to the length of time we've been sectioned. For those that don't know, ECH is the secure female ward for patients that are deemed too dangerous to be in an average acute ward. You can't have pens, CDs, headphones, anything electronic, you're constantly on 5 minute observation, you're confined to the ward and the garden is kept locked until the patients are allowed to smoke every hour, plus there are alarms covering all the fences so even if a patient touches one the alarms go off, the fences are also ten feet tall rather than on Lime Unit where they're only about eight feet. We found out that the only reason she hadn't been moved is because most of her coping techniques would've been removed. She wouldn't be allowed her laptop for movies, she wouldn't be able to have her phone to text or chat, she wouldn't be allowed her iPad for games, she wouldn't be allowed her internet, she wouldn't be able to write due to the fact she wouldn't be allowed a pen, and she wouldn't have her iPod which she uses when the voices she hears (including us talking inside) are getting too loud for her to bare. That was a massive shock to me when I heard it, especially as they're moving her to the rehab ward! The nurse even said "If this carries on then we'll be seeing you again, if you're not put on ECH". Reassuring huh?
I doubt Keri will sleep much tonight but here's hoping! She's just had her evening medication and is likely to go and sit in the communal area for a while. She's taken off her shock machine now so hopefully she can cope otherwise she's going to end up in another medication induced coma...
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