Written by Fox.
Keri woke up this morning with her eye so swollen she could barely even open it. This was due to the burns she's inflicting near her eyes. The staff have let her have her lighter but she's burned herself twice today and it was during the daylight hours! The staff have her lighter now, though they've only had it for the last half an hour because Keri freaked out again but I'll get onto that later.
Extreme makeover for the hospital, courtesy of the CQC. Bathroom doors have been removed and protective sheets are now stuck on the windows, you can't see outside now! This has meant Keri's gone from having her bathroom kept locked all the time to having no door... Luckily she hasn't tried to use any ligatures today so still hoping she'll have a better night. She's had enough medication! They've doubled her dose of Olanzapine to the maximum 20mg and she's had a lot of PRN from when she's been hallucinating and freaking out.
Her first bad episode happened early afternoon when she was found by the physio huddled under her desk again, rocking and hyperventilating. Yet again unresponsive to verbal communication and even to physical contact for a bit as she was in a bad flashback. The physio managed to get through to her and took her out for a walk in the garden and a cigarette before she went inside and left Keri to it in her room. She's still on ten minute obs anyway. After this freak out Keri decided she was going to make a noose out of shoelaces 'just in case' and hid it. Unfortunately I can't do anything as she did it while me and David etc were busy dealing with Sally's emotions.
The second freak out she had was early evening when the staff found her rocking very violently on her bed and crying. It took a while yet again to get through to her but once they did they got her up for another cigarette and gave her some Lorazepam. It took a while for her to calm down again.
The worst freak out happened about an hour ago when Keri was deeply involved with a flashback. Instead of the usual responses of being disorientated and shouting at staff to 'stop that man taking her', she didn't. She was too deep within her flashback to know what was going on. The staff touched her and she instantly shouted that she had to catch her dad as he had her baby daughter in his arms and ran off. So Keri dumped the pills the staff had in her mouth, swallowed them and then rushed out of her door. She was looking everywhere for her dad even when the staff were trying to stop her. She was even barging into other patients' rooms! By the time it got to the point where she was going to raid the male corridor the staff shut the door to the corridor to physically stop her going down there and be able to sit her in a room with staff to get grounded. She can't remember half of what she did as it all turns into a blur. That's why the staff currently have her lighter due to her high risk presentation (well, higher than the usual high!).
Keri did manage to get out with IH again today to get a Costa but she was hallucinating and having flashbacks while she was out which hadn't happened before. Usually going out with IH is the break Keri needs from the ward to get some air and try to calm down, but this time it just stressed her out. Now she's scared to go out again. We don't need her turning agoraphobic again!
Is there something good I can say today? We're alive.
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