DAY 168 - 22nd January, Wednesday
Today's been a roller coaster of extremes. Keri's either been laughing her head off or curled up on her bedroom floor crying so hard that it hurts. There hasn't been an in between.
Keri's still on one to one but was able to get some escorted leave to the supermarket to update her diet coke stash. I think a bit of time off the ward did her a little good but it definitely got her heart pumping. She tried keeping herself distracted by chatting to Matt but it didn't help her. She kept her face looking calm though.
Now it's late evening, Keri's very depressed. She ate more popcorn and chocolate and threw it up, then panicked and exercised away more calories, then cried some more, pretended to be happy or Clarissa is coming out when Keri is around staff while smoking (if Clari noticed Keri was past the point of being able to 'put her face on'), cried some more... I think me coming out to do the blog at least gives her body a break from the exertion it takes for Keri to cry the way she's doing. And you know what? There's no one around to see it while she's in her room like that, so no one knows how agonised she feels inside. It breaks my heart as I know I can't do anything to help.
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