DAY 155 - 9th January, Thursday
Keri had no chance of getting up early this morning. She had such a bad headache she could barely even open her eyes. One of the staff brought her medication up for her and she stayed with her face buried in her pillow until Becki turned up at the door for their appointment. It was 1pm and Keri told her to come in. After making a couple of coffees, Keri tried to keep her eyes open but really struggled. Just before Becki was due to leave Keri's headache suddenly disappeared which confused Keri a bit. Sally didn't do anything. She's messing with Keri's head to see if she can get Keri to do something herself. There's only so much talking the staff can do with Keri during the day, but at night? Sally's got Keri all to herself to chat to constantly. Any hope she builds during the day soon gets beaten back down again. It's no wonder Keri's suicidal.
She wanted leave to Tesco and the staff said nothing about her not going so she assumed it was perfectly fine. Keri was taking quite a risk. Even though her headache had disappeared, Sally had sometimes decided to jump out unexpectedly without any warning. Luckily, while she was stood outside the supermarket finishing her cigarette, Matt turned up as he was grabbing a few things himself. In the end Keri and Matt shopped together just in case something triggered Keri off. I'm really glad that he did that as there was a point where they passed a group of children and Keri felt a bit shaky.
She's even hallucinating again today, although she's convinced that what she's been hearing is real. She keeps hearing a baby crying. This is one of the noises that Keri gets really upset by and she's convinced that it's real. There's no doubt in her mind. There's no point with David trying to argue with her about it as there's no point. I just hope that hearing this crying baby is just the worst it gets and that she doesn't end up getting really badly unwell again.
Weirdly, Keri was very perky and chatty this evening. She was smiling laughing and joining in with banter, even teasing staff while sitting with them in the staff office. I'm really worried. For anyone that knows her, if she suddenly seems very happy it's a bad sign. Normally it means that she's finally made a decision about suicide or something similar. The spot Keri managed to find last time she ran away is really playing on her mind as she knows how remote it was. I'm just going to keep wishfully thinking that neither her or Sally will do anything. It was mainly Keri last time but now Sally knows where this place is she might get Keri there herself (Sally's navigational memory is a lot better than Keri's is). She's got an appointment with Fiona tomorrow anyway so maybe a bit of psychotherapy will help? As long as she doesn't cancel the appointment like she did on Monday! I think the police might be possibly be visiting as well but I'm not too clear about that.
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