Written by Fox.
Well, what can I say, Sally paid a visit today although there were a few times while she was taken by two staff to A&E that she almost came out. You could tell from Keri's posture, the pained expression on her face, the hyperventilating (which went on constantly for over three hours), the kicking walls, fists clenched and punching walls, refusing to sit anywhere near anyone and stand by the wall, pacing up and down... Need I go on? Sally had cut Keri's arm again and she needed to go and get stitches. Clive made sure the car doors were locked on the way back to the unit so maybe the staff are able to predict when risks are higher as Sally was planning to jump out at a traffic light. I do have to say that Fi (one of the students who started yesterday) seems like she'll be a very good nurse. She was calming to Keri, and so was Clive. Keri hasn't had much interaction with Clive but he was very supportive as it was clear how difficult it was for Keri to even be in the hospital. They made sure that most of the time both staff were there as Clive did say to the receptionist that it was a delicate situation (although Keri didn't hear anything as she kept going into dissociative trances).
She was back to fasting today but after losing a lot of blood and feeling wobbly, by the time she got back she asked Fi to get her £5 worth of chocolate and she was going to microwave a couple of packets of popcorn which is exactly what she did. Unfortunately she then spent the last of her energy making herself sick as she felt so guilty about eating all of it. Now her body is totally drained. Keri's asked Viv to hand over to the morning staff not to wake her before midday if she's not up before then as she's so desperate to get some sleep and hide under her duvet. Unless you experience it yourself you don't know how draining it is. It's literally like running a marathon with no fuel to help you run.
David has written a letter for Fiona for her psychotherapy appointment on Friday. I don't know what it says and neither does anyone else. Keri doesn't even know that the letter exists so David will probably leave it on her desk about five minutes before Fiona is due to arrive for the appointment.
Keri's still on one to one but I think it's being reviewed again tomorrow. The problem is, if she's on one to one, Keri will end up being cut up by Sally. If she's not on one to one Sally will quite happily either slip out the door when no one is looking or climb the garden fence. What kind of choice does that leave Keri or the staff? Unfortunately, because she's hardly even in the early stages of treatment, Keri can't control the dissociating. That's the thing that most upsets Keri. She doesn't like feeling out of control.
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