DAY 175 - 29th September, Wednesday
Nana (one of the student nurses on a placement with Fi) managed to actually get Keri up before midday. She definitely showed perseverance and it paid off. Keri was still on one to one so while she went outside to smoke she told Nana that she'd make a brilliant nurse because of her stubbornness! A person who can get Keri out of bed is someone who's definitely hard working! Some staff don't have the energy to even bother trying!
Keri's foster parents visited today and Keri really enjoyed their company. Keri made them some coffee from her machine and they had a long chat, catching up on things going on at home but mainly about what she was going to do about trying to stay out of a secure hospital. It left Keri thinking about it for a long while after her foster parents left. And she swore at herself as she wanted to give Liz her teddy bear back (a little teddy she got from her children saying World's Best Mum on it). Not because she wanted to throw away that special part she's got of her foster mum's but because she doesn't know where she'll move or if she'll stay on the ward and she doesn't want the poor bear getting lost on his travels.
Overall, besides still being confined to the ward on one to one obs, she's actually been in a fairly stable mood. This is partially to do with the fact she had her physical obs done today and has lost more weight. Keri felt like she'd ballooned in size, put on weight, and overall screwed herself up because of her bingeing and vomiting episodes but it turns out she hasn't gained any weight, quite the opposite! To be quite honest, no matter what weight she is, the day she knows she's going to be weighed she always feels like a badly inflated balloon and dreading the moment the scales beep and show her her weight. Because she'd lost weight she decided to treat herself to a small portion of the lasagne without throwing it up afterwards. Then later Fi kindly went out to go and get Keri her binge food which Keri then threw up. She's now fasting again with her motivation going well as she's feeling empty and loving the feeling.
Unfortunately it still doesn't stop the fight between Keri and Sally. Keri's rated her mood today about an average of 3/10, slipping down to about 2.5/10 tonight. She's hallucinating (visual and auditory) again but doesn't realise it, which is never a good thing as sometimes command hallucinations get Keri really worked up and she feels compelled to do what they say (not all the time obviously otherwise someone would've been murdered by now!).
Becki, Keri's mum and John are coming to visit Keri tomorrow. Hopefully Becki has managed to get Keri's stuff from social services storage. Keri's had no reply from her email so is hoping Becki won't turn up with none of her stuff. Becki has lost her mobile phone so email is the only way to contact her at the moment. Keri's mum and John will probably just chat on the ward for a bit with some coffee. Keri will be sending her mum to the supermarket to get her some cigarettes! They can't bring little Amos and take him for a walk as Keri has no leave, plus it would be unfair if he was having to sit in the back of a car for hours.
Keri's mood seems to be dipping again, although Ade has been talking to her while on one to one and he's normally pretty good at trying to distract her. Let's just hope she has some sleep tonight and doesn't wake up feeling even worse in the morning!
So here's the copy of the plan Keri and Gemma drew up if Sally were to come out again so that staff won't have to chase her without success and not even be able to get her by driving around in the ward car! I don't know where the bit about Keri's foster parents comes into it but that doesn't normally have an effect on Sally coming out so I think Keri will talk to the staff about that. Sure, she feels down if she hasn't seen them for weeks but it doesn't trigger off more dissociating!
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