DAY 47 - 23rd September, Monday
Keri hibernated again after not settling until 5am. She stayed in bed late. Bitch was way out of line by calling Keri "Frankenstein" due to the scars on her face (one on her cheek she had stitched because of Sally and the rest she's done on her forehead during her current psychosis). Dizzy backed Keri up because it was clearly how much Keri was losing his temper.
Quite soon after this, Jay took Keri to the supermarket and said how close she was to punching Bitch. Know what he turned around to Keri and said?! "Well, when you do it give her one from me"! Haha. So it's clear how much everyone dislikes her. Jay told Keri that Bitch was being assessed the next day and she's going to be transferred to a different ward as it's her personality that's malicious not her illness, thank heavens!
Keri's foster mum visited today and Keri was really happy to see her and hear about the 'mania' of the usual house environment! It gives her some sense of normality and she likes to hear that her family are mokay. She also brought up all the rest of Keri's clothes! I mean, seriously, how can someone have so many clothes? Then I clocked on to the fact that some of it is Clarissa's, some Sally's, some mine, some Trixie's and so on... Me and Keri ended up playing a massive game of clothing Tetris trying to find a way to fit it all in! We managed it though! A lot easier than I thought it was going to be if I'm honest, and quicker. We had plenty of time. Keri had no plans to even get ready for bed until gone 4am so we had a fair amount of time. I did some tidying as well so the room is looking good!
DAY 48 - 24th September, Tuesday
Because of the fact Keri didn't go to sleep until 5am again she hibernated and missed the hospital's weekly yoga session. Unfortunately they've changed the time from 2pm to 11am. With Keri not being able to settle until very late she's not capable of getting up at that time! I thought it would motivate her to get out of bed. She even set an alarm. It didn't work though. She just looked at the alarm, thought 'Fuck it', turned it off and just rolled over and slipped into a daydream.
Keri had her ward round today. She was expecting it to be like every other time; no medication change, no leave, no discharge and overall no progress. However the concern about her sleep deprivation came up and her sleeping tablets have been changed. Instead of them being on her regular prescription and having to have them at 10pm, they've put her Zopiclone on her PRN chart and also added Promethazine. Even though the Promethazine is on her PRN chart it's still a regular medication, it's just so she can take it about 1am ish instead of having to stick to a specific time. When the nurse gave to her at about 1am she said, "We've been told this is really effective and because of your size it'll probably knock you sideways. If not then we'll double the dose if you still aren't settling. However the downside to it is patients tend to feel very groggy and out of focus in the mornings."
Hoping for good luck as it appears to have a good review! Most of the milder sleeping tablets work for the rest of the patients so Keri is only one of a select few who have had to be put on quite strong ones.
Keri's obs were due to be checked today but it took all day for her to be persuaded to have them done as it also includes weighing her. She wanted to know her weight as if she'd put on weight she wasn't going to eat for a week. She thought she'd put on loads as she feels absolutely huge and has been bingeing loads and throwing up. Eventually she went and had everything checked. Blood pressure was fine but her pulse was over 130! And to Keri's surprise she's lost 3 kilos in about a fortnight! She was literally crying for joy when she came out of that clinic room!
So, let's see what happens with this Promethazine. It's after 2am now so clearly she needs a higher dose...
DAY 49 (7 weeks) - 25th September, Wednesday
It's been a fairly reasonable day today actually! The Promethazine cut off about an hour for Keri settling so she's getting sorted for bed at about 3.30am now. The nurse has said it might take a few days to build up in her system but if she still can't settle at a more reasonable hour by the time her next ward round hits then they'll double up the dosage.
Keri's personal advisor from social services visited today and Keri had a good chat with her. They spent a lot of time on hold on the phone while she was trying to sort out Keri's benefits! The first time when they eventually got through it turned out to be the wrong number. Then the second time they eventually got through her PA was told that they'd already been notified of change of circumstance a week ago! All that terrible hold music for nothing. I can't stand listening to the same section of classical music playing over and over again. Can people not go for a more upbeat kind of song? At least you can get motivated to clean your entire downstairs of your house while being on hold for an hour with the phone sat on the side on loud speaker!
Keri got some more time off the ward. She's pretty depressed as nearly everyone who was here when she was admitted (or soon after she was admitted) have gone! Lucinda left today along with four others over the course of today and yesterday. Keri's also being moved down to the High Dependency Unit. She still has access to the rest of the unit but it's quieter down there with only four women's rooms and they're checked on every ten minutes. Keri was supposed to moved today but the bedroom she was going to be moving into still had a patient! There's been a delay with the patient's discharge so it won't be until tomorrow.
Now there's 3 new admissions wandering around, along with a guy that Keri's loving at the moment who was transferred to the men's intensive psychiatric care unit next to the unit we're on. He was there for 2 weeks and now he's back. Keri knew him before he got transferred and has spent a long time chatting to him this evening!
Keri's evening has been spent outside, lying on the grass with 'Mick' (pseudo name). Mick went and got some blankets and pillows and laid them on the grass so the pair of them could lie down and look at the stars, except it's too cloudy to see any stars! So instead they just chatted and chatted... then chatted some more... smoked... chatted some more. Eventually he held Keri's hand and said, "Don't hurt yourself any more. You're beautiful. Don't be embarrassed by those scars. People are judgemental. It's just skin. You're worth so much more than that." Wait, what? A compliment? She's beautiful? She's worth something? I have to admit they were pissing themselves with laughter together, they're both dirty minded and have a black sense of humour and their personalities are like ying and yang. In the end he looked her in the eye and tried to kiss her. Keri decided no.
"Not now, Mick," she said, slowly moving his hand from her face (slightly intimate moment without Clarissa being involved in the slightest!).
"I can see it in those eyes," he said, as Keri couldn't help but smile.
"I know you can, but I don't want to have a proper kiss with you yet."
"Name 3 reasons why."
"Well, the first one is that I want to get to know you even better than I do already so I can trust you. The second one is we're in hospital, if you're serious about a relationship I don't want it started in a psychiatric hospital. Are you serious?"
"Of course I am," said Mick, looking slightly offended. "You don't think I'm genuine?"
"No, I do," Keri said. "I've just had my fair share of untrustworthy people."
"I see what you mean," he said, still looking in her eyes. "Just a small kiss?"
With a grin on her face she decided to give him a small kiss on the lips. You don't want to know what went through her head but Clarissa was definitely there!
"You wanted more than just a small kiss," said Mick after he pulled away.
How was Keri supposed to tell him that an alter personality was all too willing to give him a full on kiss with no issue of trust or boundaries? Instead she just blushed while Mick teased her red cheeks and they carried on chatting. They were lying out there for at least a couple of hours until it started coming up to midnight. The staff must know something's going on just from their body language. They were laying propped up on their elbows facing each other. It was clear that Keri felt very comfortable being around Mick. There was no pressure and they're great friends. Mick has PTSD which he developed after being in the army for 3 and a half years, he's 21 and I'm not a match maker myself but I think they go beautifully together. Mick has already said he wants to take Keri out for a meal, ha! He knows that's going to be hard work! Her foster parents didn't even manage once! And the one time they did it was because I was out and wanted to have lunch with them! I just hope Keri isn't let down again. I'm a good judge of character and this guy has such a good heart, but Keri's self esteem is very low. She's held a lot back about her illnesses because she's afraid of scaring him away. That might change tomorrow!
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