DAY 50 - 26th September, Thursday
Another day with the same start, it's a bit like Groundhog Day! Not sleeping until 4 again, not getting out of bed until the afternoon... Although the physiotherapist came to see her today and she said she'd come by to see Keri about 2pm tomorrow as she's now back from her holiday. Will Keri be out of bed? Who knows!
One of the workers from the Bristol Intensive Team came onto the ward today. There's normally two of them that each spend a day on the ward talking to patients. The woman Keri was speaking to was nice and Keri told her about how she felt like a guinea pig. A doctor (who started just as Keri was admitted) spent over an hour with Keri asking question after question about her DID! It's the same with student doctors. The first person suggested is Keri, it's rare to come across a patient face to face with DID and none of the doctors have ever treated someone on the ward with it before. So Keri feels like she's being interrogated. She's not even here because of us, she's here because of her psychosis!
Keri's been feeling quite awkward around Mick today as she doesn't know what she can hide from him and what she can tell him. They've been quite openly hugging and such and Keri, along with Mick and two other patients, spent a couple of hours in the garden in absolute hysterics! I love it when Keri has some good moments, they do happen! It's not depression 100% of the time. She may still be suicidal but that doesn't mean she can't laugh. Speaking of which her key nurse is going to try and get the doctor to sign Keri off for some unescorted leave at the weekend! Fucking ridiculous! She'll be dragged back by police, that's if they get to her before she gets to the suspension bridge. It's an idiotic idea, she's still suicidal, she's still paranoid and she's still hallucinating - so what is the logic in letting her out on her own?!
Keri's been moved down to the HDU now - or as it's called "The Annexe". It's very quiet! There's only 4 women's rooms and then the seclusion room (which luckily isn't used much). One of the rooms isn't being used at the moment, or the patient is on leave, but the other two Keri gets along with really well. And they're trustworthy. They can't get a key for Keri until tomorrow so she's had to leave it unlocked but the other two patients are trustworthy and friendly so it's not an issue. For part of the evening Keri had her door wide open sitting on her bed while one of the girls opposite her had her bedroom door open sitting on her bed and they were just doing their own thing and chatting from time to time. It's very different from being up on the main ward, although Keri does still have access to it so she can still use the female lounge and the communal garden and such so it's all good. The Annexe can be locked off from the main ward if necessary so no one can go in and out of it but that's a rare thing to happen. Maybe she'll be able to get a decent night of sleep because she feels safer... Although it's nearly 2am and Keri took her Promethazine at 1am so the staff will obviously feed back to the psychiatrist on Tuesday during her ward round that the dose of it needs to go up, the problem with that is she'll find it very difficult to get up or think clearly in the mornings as it's a very strong tablet when the dose is maxed out.
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