Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 6

Written by Fox.

DAY 6 - 13th August

Today was totally and utterly outrageous (if you exclude the fact she had three visitors).

Tuesday is Keri's ward round. She's been waiting for an opportunity to speak with the overseeing psychiatrist since the day she got here. Finally, this afternoon she saw him. She wasn't even in there five minutes and I mean that quite literally. This is the conversation that happened, word for word. Just for those that don't know, Dr. W has a big projector on his wall linked to the computer so he can pop up any page and it projects on the wall.

- cue Keri enters room
Dr. W: "Hi again, Keri. I see you've dyed your hair since I last saw you when you were admitted."
Keri: "Yeah."
Dr. W (to the nurse at the computer): "Can you bring up Keri's notes please?"
Dr. W: "Is there any questions you want to ask, Keri?"
Keri: "When can I leave?"
Dr. W: "Well, you can leave whenever you want. You're voluntary aren't you?"
Keri: "No."
Dr. W: "Oh, have you ever been sectioned before? When was the last time?"
Keri: "A few years ago."
Dr. W (to the nurse at the computer): "Can you bring up Keri's section history please?"
Dr. W: "Well, I think it was agreed last time that hospital isn't the best place for you so I will have to try and speak to your care co-ordinator. Are you willing to stay as an informal patient?"
Keri: "No."
Dr. W: "Okay, then this will have to be carefully planned. Thanks for coming, Keri. I'm on holiday next week so there'll be a different psychiatrist seeing you."
Keri: "Okay, bye."
- cue Keri leaves room.

Not once did he ask about her symptoms and not once did he ask how she was feeling. Keri had promised her foster mum that she'd be honest about her symptoms with the psychiatrist. How is she supposed to be honest about them when the questions aren't even asked? Keri isn't going to openly bring up the topic herself! So that was an absolutely pointless waste of time. 

As soon as that ward round finished Keri had another crying episode and ended up sitting in the garden with a nurse (let's call him Vex). Vex kept trying to argue with Keri's delusions and hallucinations which has made her even more distrusting of the staff. Keri told Vex that she didn't belong in the hospital as she isn't ill like everyone else appears to be. That was when Vex decided to turn around and say she was suffering with paranoid psychosis and lacks insight into reality. That's not the way to tell a delusional person something like that! She's now gone into complete suspicious mode. Vex told her to try writing down her feelings so a couple of hours later she ended up handing in a page of doodles about what she was seeing and how she wanted to get the insect out and such. Whether anyone is going to speak to her about this or not I do not know.

The only thing that helped Keri today was her visitors; her Personal Advisor (PA) from social services and her old respite carers, T&D. All of them managed to get a smile out of her. T&D even managed several laughs! For a moment she forgot about her paranoid psychosis and actually laughed. Now she's back to sitting in her room wondering who she can even trust at the moment. Her section still hasn't been lifted and all she wants to do is climb over the fence (which she tried to do the other day). The problem is Sally would love to do this too and has about 8 times the strength Keri has which means she'd climb that fence like a cat. The down side to Keri being so skinny is she's about the only patient on the ward that can actually fit their fingers through the gaps in the wired fence to grip enough to climb it! 

Phew. I feel a little better now I've ranted all that out. Thanks blogger! And thanks to all the wonderful messages we've been getting through the DID page. The support has been amazing and it's very appreciated. :)

Monday, 12 August 2013

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 5

Written by Fox.

DAY 5 - 12th August

Keri felt the bug crawling in her head again this morning. She found a pen in the garden and snapped it into pieces and dug into her head to get it out but it didn't work. She ended up very distressed and sat with a member of staff for a while who gave her some Lorazepam. She'd only taken her morning medication an hour before that so clearly they weren't working! Luckily after the nurse sorted her wounds and had a chat, Keri was able to calm down, to the point of not having to pace round and round the garden!

Her psychotherapist was late for Keri's appointment but that's because she didn't know where to find her! Keri had a very constructive session. She was able to be open and honest and her psychotherapist not once tried arguing with her about her delusions and hallucinations. But she didn't agree to them either. For instance, Keri said that the five guys following her were standing on the hospital grounds outside the fence of the garden (the fences are green wiring about 8 feet high). Fiona didn't turn around and say "Well you're hallucinating", instead she said "That must be scary for you Keri." She didn't deny anything but she didn't encourage the delusions either, if that makes sense.

Her foster mum also visited which was nice as Keri was getting desperate to see her! She brought her some extra clothing etc along with a sense of humour which lightened Keri's spirits a bit, although inside she was a bit upset that she was going to be left in hospital for a week without being able to see her. Hopefully by the time they get back Keri will be a bit more logical and will be able to go home.

Keri had started to get cabin fever. She begged the nurses to take her out as she's only been given half an hour escorted leave so isn't allowed out on her own. The nurses said there weren't enough staff to take her out and she'd have to wait until tomorrow. Bare in mind Keri had actually been asking all day and each nurse said, wait for an hour, wait for an hour, wait for an hour. It wasn't surprising when it got to the point Keri had another outbreak of hysterical tears for an hour because she felt like a criminal who'd been locked in prison. Eventually the staff managed to calm her down and decided it would be best if one of them took Keri out. Why couldn't this have been done earlier? Does Keri crying for an hour really change the amount of staff available? What is this logic?!

She's started going to bed early now which is weird! Well, early to her is about midnight. Gives me a chance to write her blog, update her page and do all that stuff. None of us have come out directly to staff. We don't feel safe enough. If we're going to dissociate and let off steam it's likely to happen a lot during the sessions with her psychotherapist. Let's just say they could be quite fun-filled!

Saturday, 10 August 2013

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 3 & 4

Written by Fox.

DAY 3 - 10th August
Well that could've been a better night! Keri woke up at 3am and was hallucinating, pacing frantically around the garden and having visions of her foster carers being hurt for 2 and a half hours before the nurses gave her any Lorazepam to calm her down. Although once they'd finally done something instead of just watching it happen they did sit for about 10 minutes to chat about what had been going on until the extra medication kicked in. I suppose that was a good thing.

Overall quite a quiet day besides some of the patients kicking off. Keri has now requested a tribunal, which is where she sits in front of 8 people and explains why she should be off her section. Now, I know exactly what she's going to say and she thinks it's completely normal! First question, "What will you do if you were to leave here?" Her reply, "Same as before, there's nothing wrong with me." Good start! I'm feeling she's going to hit a very low point after that meeting, whenever it is. Plus it'll give Sally an excuse to go apeshit which isn't what we want!

No visitors today but Keri was exhausted anyway. Didn't stop her pacing round the garden though. Her iPad died as well and because the plugs hadn't been tested the nurses said they couldn't do it. They soon changed their minds when Keri started crying and they realised how strong a coping technique her music and comedy stuff was! They've marked it down as urgent so hopefully by Monday afternoon she'll have all her chargers!

DAY 4 - 11th August
Up by 4am, pacing until 5.30am and then sorted and dressed by 6. This is not normal! 

Keri had a fairly reasonable day although she's tired of the nurses telling her there's no insect in her brain. Her wrist is getting better where she was scratching it so much as the nurses are keeping dressings on it. Yet again, her day was mostly spent pacing around the garden or in her room with her headphones on almost constantly. I'm worrying that she's getting worse. She's still got two more days until her first ward round.

Her foster mum came to visit this evening and brought some extra stuff for her; including some trackies for me so I don't have to put up with leggings, and some chocolate for Clarissa. There are some cookies for me too but Clarissa is demanding I share them with her! Her foster mum is going to come again with some more stuff tomorrow, including cigarettes! As they're going on holiday on Tuesday it's better to be safe than sorry and have more stuff than needed than not having enough!

This evening we found out her tribunal probably won't be until the beginning of next week. By that point she will have had ward round on Tuesday and seen her psychiatrist anyway. I don't know whether her psych overseeing her care currently is going to be on the panel as I believe it's an independent thing, but considering it won't be until early next week (8/9 days away) he will probably have some input. Keri was told by the nurses her tribunal had to be within 14 days but apparently that's not true. You have to apply within 14 days and then they arrange it as soon as possible. Why are the nurses telling her wrong facts!? You tell me!

She still hasn't left the ward. She was going to earlier but decided against it as she keeps seeing the five guys following her (which of course are hallucinations but she can't see that point of view). Hopefully she'll get some sleep tonight and tomorrow will be better! Her therapist comes back tomorrow so Keri will be seeing her in the afternoon which will do her some good!

Friday, 9 August 2013

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 1 & 2

Written by Fox.

DAY 1 - 8th August
Keri was sectioned after being assessed at home at 2am Wednesday morning. By the time it was 3am they'd already got her to the hospital using their escorted transport crap. Bearing in mind these doctors and social worker arrived at 1.30am, Keri was in her pyjamas. She wasn't even given the chance to get dressed. She had time to grab her iPod and cigarettes but that was it as the transport team were in a hurry to go.

On arrival, she was shown where her room was and then paced round and round the garden for a couple of hours as she was so agitated. A doctor saw her at about 5.30am, by which point she was still pacing round the garden. As Keri had already had all her night time medication, the doctor decided to give her some Lorazepam on the condition that Keri go to her room and try to sleep. Keri agreed and managed to get a couple of hours sleep before pacing around the garden again at 7.30am.

Most of the day involved her pacing around the garden constantly. She found it depressing that the nurses there treated her like an old friend (she was admitted in Nov - Dec 2012 and Jan - March 2013, both were voluntary). In some ways though she also felt comforted to know there were staff there that knew her and knew how to handle her. In addition to her usual meds she was also given some more Lorazepam later in the day while a doctor did all her obs which showed how anxious she was (pulse, blood pressure, ECG, temperature, resps etc). She was told that she was going to see the psychiatrist that morning as he is now the one who is responsible for discharging her. She never got to see him. 

Keri was getting more and more stressed out because she felt the insect scratching inside her brain again and needed to get it out. She started scratching at the skin on her wrist to make herself feel better. The problem is, she has long fingernails and it caused quite a bit of damage. What I found ridiculous is that a nurse (let's call her Cat) came into her room and saw what she was doing. At first she asked Keri to stop but Keri was feeling compelled to carry on which meant Cat had to hold both her wrists to stop her doing it. In the end, she let go and Keri started scratching again, by this point she was drawing blood.

Do you know what Cat did? She got up from beside Keri and said, "Right, I'm going to leave you to it for now as I'm not sitting here watching you do that." She actually walked out the room and let Keri carry on doing it! I found this outrageous! Cat later came back to check on Keri and brought with her Keri's 2nd dose of medication, more Diazepam. It was the midday dose but Cat decided to give it to her early. After this she was taken to the clinic room and Cat bandaged up Keri's wrist to see if it would stop her scratching at it. It worked. Her compulsion to keep digging her nails deeper and deeper calmed down and she continued with pacing round and round the garden.

Her foster mum visited early afternoon so she could finally get changed out of her pyjamas! Keri didn't think she was going to turn up. There are a lot of doubts in her mind at the moment as she still can't see the logic of her being sectioned in the first place. Even so, she told her foster mum that she didn't hate them (too strong a word) but she did slightly dislike them for wanting Keri to have a mental health act assessment. So she had clothes and toiletries! And cigarettes most importantly! She was really pleased to be able to sit down with her foster mum and chat on the garden. It was one of those moments where there was some comfort and things didn't go wrong again until afterwards, cabin fever I think!
 
The next time something went wrong was when she started hallucinating. Before being admitted she kept saying there were people outside the house. It was real to her but of course no one else could see them. She saw them outside her bedroom window in the hospital, banging at the glass and shouting at her. She ended up hiding on top of her wardrobe to stay safe. The staff were concerned and four of them came into her room when they found her on top of the wardrobe. By this point Keri had broken down into tears and was very upset. She still didn't understand why she was admitted and was desperate to be discharged. She was also crying over the fact her foster carers were going to be on holiday so she wouldn't have anywhere to go if she was discharged anyway. The staff sat with her for a while after some persuasion getting her down from the wardrobe.

Her day got even worse when Sally started trying to concoct escape plans. Luckily she didn't go through with them. Not yet anyway. She was given the same cocktail of medication and slept a bit better after working up a sleep debt. Even so she struggled to stay asleep for long. I've no idea how she is so wide awake with all the medication she's taking!

That night she slept a little better as they gave her extra Lorazepam again along with her Diazepam, Quetiapine, Mirtazapine and Zopiclone; even though she was up and dressed by about 4am!


DAY 2 - 9th August
Wow. Four visitors in one day! Keri's exhausted! First her foster mum visited with everything that wasn't the essentials, including what I asked for which was the iPad and Internet so I could update you guys! I don't want to abandon the page with so many supporters! She kindly bought Keri's laptop, a couple of things to put on her wall and, of course, her foster mum's special teddy. Keri was thrilled with this as it is basically her foster mum's way of saying "Keri, we're here for you no matter where you are and you've always got a home to come back to". Lovely isn't it? :) Unfortunately her plugs got taken away to be tested so the iPad is low on battery and so is her iPod! She's not happy! The nurses said it'll be done within 24 hours, way too long. 

The outreach worker from the fostering agency also visited about an hour or two after Keri's foster mum left, bringing Keri a strawberry milkshake from McDonald's! The best in the world according to Keri and her foster dad! She stayed for a couple of hours before disappearing off and promising to visit next week as Keri's foster parents are going on holiday to Turkey on Tuesday! 

Then, much to Keri's surprise when she heard the news from her foster mum that afternoon, her respite carers were coming to visit. These were the couple that Keri really bonded with and she was their first ever foster child. That's if you can call her a child as really she's a foster adult! But they also came bearing gifts for Keri; diet coke, sweets requested by Clarissa (my twin sister), iced coffee and for some reason a potted plant! Keri can hardly keep a goldfish alive let alone a plant. I reckon it'll be dead in a week! Because they knew Keri's foster parents were going on holiday they promised to come and visit during the week. The gratitude Keri felt about this was beyond words. She really likes those carers and is glad their relationship hasn't disappeared even at the point she's been sectioned.

She's just taken her final dose of medication and is still revved up but will hopefully calm down when they kick in. For the first time today, even though she's still psychotic, I heard her laugh several times. It was like music to my ears and it even made me feel happy to know there's so many people around her the love her, care for her and support her even in the dark times.

She was also given a leaflet today explaining her rights about being detained, about the fact she has to comply with any treatment and the expiry date of her section (unless of course the psychiatrist decides to put her on a section 3). Ridiculous as this should have been done on admission! She was told today that she wouldn't be seeing the psychiatrist in charge of her care until Tuesday as that's the day of her ward round. Bit crappy considering she came in early Wednesday morning! When she was voluntary she was seen the same day or the day after, no matter what day her ward round, yet because she's sectioned it seems to me that people think "Well, she can't legally leave for 28 days so we don't have to rush anything". So annoying! And it also got Keri quite down. She's feeling quite depressed now and very agitated, I want to see her smile tonight, even if it's only a small one!

So that's the first 2 days. The only dissociation that's been happening is me popping out secretly in Keri's bedroom! Although Keri has written on her whiteboard the three alters who are most likely to come out during her stay (me, Clarissa and Sally) and written some of our personality traits and also the signs to look out for to recognise us individually. Some of the nurses, especially Keri's favourite nurse (let's call her Lissy), are quite clued up when it comes to Keri dissociating and have met Sally and Clarissa quite openly, and also they've met me as I'm the one who normally attends any of her formal meetings.

Wow, a longer post than I'd hoped! But I hope you guys found it helpful. Let me know if I'm being too long-winded about the ins and outs of everything. Sometimes they'll be short posts, other times longer, depending on what's happened. There's a lot of complications when you combine D.I.D with psychosis!

Love to you guys!

Fox.

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Possible Signs and Symptoms of DID

There are many symptoms across a broad spectrum that can be involved in someone with DID and often symptoms can be caused by co-morbid diagnoses. Here is a list of a few possible signs and symptoms. Please do not try and self-diagnose. A mental health diagnosis needs to be done by a professional.

- feeling like more than one person
- encountering people that you've never met but seem to know you, sometimes calling you a different name
- being called names that are unlike your own
- having memory lapses that are indicative of dissociation (significant life events e.g. birthdays or birth of a child)
- having blackouts (not recalling how you travelled to a certain place)
- finding items that are clearly yours but not recalling ownership or how the items got there in the first place
- hearing voices inside your head
- not recognising yourself in the mirror
- feeling unreal (derealisation)
- feeling like you are watching yourself move through life rather than living in it

These are only a few. Again, do not diagnose yourself. Dissociative disorders are complicated, especially DID. It usually takes years before a formal diagnosis is made.

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Experiences of Being Detained by Police

Being sectioned by the police is never a pleasant experience for anyone, especially those who have a trauma based disorder or have DID. Restraint that is usually used against burglars, rapists and criminals can also be used for mental health patients that the police need to detain for the person's safety or for other people's safety. It can be a harsh and unpleasant experience.

It can be hard for someone with DID to be restrained, especially if the officers have no idea what the disorder is. In my experience the officers have been quite reassuring if I've been 'me'. However, if my aggressive and homicidal alter is out, the police have no choice but to restrain her, often having to use several officers. The mental health professionals seem to be of the opinion that "someone has to do the dirty work". 

A section 136 of the Mental Health Act allows a police officer to detain someone who is an immediate danger to themselves and take them to a place of safety, such as a police cell or a psychiatric hospital - the latter being the preferred option. This can be for up to 72 hours. The police are responsible for the person until their care is turned over to the mental health professionals. The problem with police is they were originally designed to help against crime and aren't fully trained in mental health, especially DID. They don't know how to deal with it. Unfortunately I've been arrested many times for trespassing (railway lines), endangering others (e.g. if I jumped in front of a train and it had to stop suddenly) and on my most recent 136, I was also arrested for breach of the peace. Luckily, none of these ever went to court or had charges placed on me because at the time I was on a 136 and viewed as not having full mental capacity.
Below are some of the experiences from people that have had to be detained by the police.

My Latest Experience


Please note: some of my 136's haven't been too full on, depending on circumstances, and officers have been sympathetic. But there is a nasty side to things which I do think needs to be addressed. This post isn't to "slag off police officers" or say they're terrible at their jobs, so please don't take it that way. 

My most recent 136 experience was 13th July 2013. On 8th July, I knew I was going to dissociate into Clarissa (a promiscuous binge-eater). She gets very excited when she's going to come out so I had warning. This was in the evening. That was the last thing I remember. According to my carers I then switched again to Fox (Clarissa's mute twin brother). He remained out for 5 days. Then yesterday I switched again to Sally (my aggressive, violent alter). Sally took me to the Clifton Suspension Bridge to jump off of it but the security guards had been warned and the police were already on their way. I've been told that they tried calling her Keri which made her go absolutely apeshit. She refused to go with the officers when they arrived so they had to forcibly put her in the back of the van as one lane of traffic had had to be blocked off so they couldn't talk for long. Of course, she wasn't having any of that and jumped from the back seat across to the front seat and opened the police van door from the front. 

This is where I have 10 seconds of full memory when I switched to me for a very short time. Obviously, the police didn't know I was Keri and Sally had already got half way out the door, almost knocking over 2 cyclists. I was grabbed by one of the officers who proceeded to put his arm around my neck and carry me to the cage in the van. By this point both lanes of traffic were now blocked off. The first thing I remember the officer saying was "Right, no more fucking around. You had the easy way or the hard way so now we're doing this the hard way". Obviously, I had no memory of the last 6 days and to suddenly find myself being manhandled by police scared me shitless, so instinctively I tried my hardest to get out of his grip. The problem was, the more I tried scratching and kicking, the harder he held onto me. Having someone carry me with an arm around my neck and literally bundling me in the cage through a series of headlocks and two males using a lot of force is not something a trauma survivor should have to deal with. I switched back into Sally as soon as the sound of the cage door was slammed shut. Apparently she was violent, aggressive, uncooperative and very angry. At first the officers took her to the police station to be secured and searched while phone calls were made so they could transfer Sally to the 136 Suite at the nearest adult psychiatric hospital, the same hospital I've been admitted to as a patient twice.

I was me again after a period of time in the 136 Suite. I had no idea how I'd gotten there and knew it must've been Sally because of the flashback of being manhandled into the cage of a police van. The first thing I did was phone my carer, which is when I found out I'd been dissociated for 5 days. Luckily the assessment was arranged quite quickly and one of the people on the assessment panel was someone who I'd had a lot of contact with and was good at trying to understand Dissociative Identity Disorder. Without her there, I'm not sure I would've been discharged. The day after I was full of aches and pains from the force and amount of restraint used, especially when they get your arms behind your back and start bending your wrist to make you compliant (pointless to do to Sally as she's unaffected by pain). The ten seconds I remember have almost retraumatised me. I have NEVER been restrained in that way. This was all because of officers that had no concept of what DID was. Most other times officers are fully clued up and all information about my disorder is shared to all the officers involved. Unfortunately for me, these two officers didn't get that message and treated Sally like a violent and aggressive criminal instead of a mental health patient that needed help, not over-the-top and painful restraint.

Felt Like an Attention Seeker - Caroline H
I hated being detained. I couldn't deal with it so I disappeared and self injured. I was found by someone walking by who called an ambulance. I just wanted to be dead. My alters were being so mean. I refused to get in the ambulance and ended up hysterical. They called the police and they restrained me until I calmed down. They took me to a medical hospital under a 136 and they couldn't get an assessment for 10 hours. An officer had to sit there with me all that time. I felt like all eyes were on me and couldn't help but feel like the officer felt like he was babysitting me and wasting his time. I dissociated while in my cubicle into Samantha. She made advances on the police officer and I found myself restrained, not knowing why. The staff didn't seem to understand that I had no control of my switching and the officer almost pressed charges for sexual harassment. I got help though. I was sectioned and got a really good therapist who deals with DID all the time. I'm a lot better now and that is partly because of getting 136ed. 

Very Helpful - Suzanna H
I've heard a lot about people who have bad experiences and I'm sorry to those that do. For me, they've only been beneficial. I think it really does depend on the police officers. Some are open minded about mental illness whereas others don't have a clue. But isn't that what it's like in normal society? Yes, I was restrained, but it was done in a non-harmful way and looking back at the incident I know it had to be done. I'd like to add that there are a lot of people who have good experiences of being on a 136. Some have even managed to get extra help because of police involvement. I realise police can be a little over the top at times but sometimes it has to be done. Some people with mental illness can be very unpredictable, especially someone with uncontrolled DID. Police officers not only have to keep the person they've detained safe but also have to keep themselves safe too. 

I found that being 136ed actually got me extra help. Yes, I've had bad experiences, who hasn't? But mostly the officers that have to deal with me are understanding and sympathetic. Those that don't understand mental illness and go full on with restraint and control I think need to do some training! If anything I do pity them a little as they're dealing with a situation they aren't familiar with.

Totally Ignored - Anon.
I got 136ed after I suffered a psychotic episode. The police knew I had DID. They were called when I sat in a library. It was closing time and I was refusing to leave. I switched to a toddler alter and just cried. The staff working in the library tried to comfort my alter but it didn't work. He went with the police very peacefully when they got there but all of a sudden I switched again and an angry alter came out. He started attacking the officers and I was taken to a police station and dragged into a cell. I was left there for hours before an assessment could be arranged. I wasn't even allowed a blanket as they thought I'd try and suffocate myself with it. I was cold, hungry and scared. I was ignored until the point when two detention officers came to take me to a room where the assessment panel was. None of them knew about DID and just thought I'd been attention seeking. I was discharged and kept getting 136ed every other day for a week or so before my mental health team finally got back from their holidays. It was a horrible experience and it won't be one that'll be forgotten.

Twitter Comments
"I understand restraint if it is needed but I think it's used more often than it should be. What happened to just trying to talk to someone?" - Mel Y.

"I think the police do a good job in my area if you get put on a 136. I think they deal more with mental illness than they do actual crime!" - Sandy L.

"Screw the police. I hate them and think they suck. They've never helped me. They just don't give a shit!" - Anon.

"There's too much of a burden on police. I think mental health professionals leave the bad bit for the police to do. It's not fair on them." - Anon.

"Traumatising, distressing, degrading!" - Kirsty O.

"I think the police go in to heavy handed on s136 patients they are not criminals they are ill !!" - Lady T
Reply from Insp Michael B: "That's a big generalisation about 25,000 interventions a year ... I hear many stories that say otherwise?"

And also a quick thank you for those who retweeted and replied (at the time of this post being published): Julie W, Kirsty O, Wokstation, Insp Michael B and NYPOLFED.

So that's that, such a variation. Sometimes it's helpful, other times it can be traumatising. That's why we need to raise awareness so that people like us aren't viewed as attention-seeking or some other kind of negative label. 

People with DID (or any other mental illness for that matter) need help, not stigma or being treated like a criminal. If you're a police officer or mental health professional and you're reading this, try to understand. We don't mean to cause 'trouble' and we aren't attention seeking. In times of crisis all we need is someone to listen, help and understand.

Saturday, 6 July 2013

Four Commitments

There are four commitments you should make if you have DID to do whatever it takes to get better. No, they're not simple and it's very difficult. But perseverance, determination and patience do pay off. Some of these extracts were used from the book I have called 'Got Parts? An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder'. There is a link at the bottom of this post  for those of you who wish to order a copy.

First off it's not just you who has to make these commitments, it's also your alters that have to as well. This can be difficult if you have parts that are saboteurs, misguided protectors, or just plain uncooperative ones. If you can get them onboard through therapy (and sometimes medication alongside this) then you have a better chance. That doesn't mean that you have no chance if these parts choose not to cooperate, it'll just be a little harder.

There are 4 main commitments, but these aren't the total picture. This is the minimum you should try to do, if you can. Remember that if you set your mind to something, things can change.

1) Be honest - even when it's bloody hard!!
There's no time for game-playing. Energy is better invested in focusing on moving you all forward in the helping process, whether that means co-consciousness or re-integration (whatever your choice of an overall goal is). Be honest not only with yourself, but also with the other parts in your system, with your therapist, with any other caregivers and also friends or loved ones who are helping you through the process.

2) Do the work!
This may seem stupidly obvious, but if you don't do any 'homework' your therapist asks you to do, and don't work hard at the issues that come up along the way, successful, healthy, effective and long-lasting change is much less likely.

3) All parts internally need to be cooperative.
When you're part of a group, including a group of alter personalities, you may not always get your own way. Having a strong and successful system involves a lot of give and take. Always remind yourself of the larger goals of reintegration and healthy functioning in the internal and external world. It's important to learn to communicate honestly, work to set ego aside and consider and seek what is going to be in the best interests of the system overall.

4) Stand down and step aside.
There is no place for control freaks, loose cannons, saboteurs, queen bees or lone rangers within a system. Stepping aside is a very extreme challenge to any controlling, bullying, bossy, know-it-all, fearful or head-strong parts - or to ANY part whose speech, behaviours, attitudes etc are not in the overall best interests of the system-as-a-whole.

This is really just the MINIMUM. No one said it will be easy, but it's definitely not impossible. Stay strong my friends. :)