Sectioned in Hospital - Day 32

Written by Fox.

DAY 32 - 8th September, Sunday

Weekends are so boring on the ward, especially for Keri. Most of the other patients are going on leave or out with friends while we're sat here just watching it happen, stuck at the desk waiting for staff or in the garden watching visitors come and go. It's quite frustrating.

Luckily Keri wasn't put on level 3 observation last night although she did end up throwing a lot of stuff across her room. Sally was starting to peek out a little bit so unfortunately for Keri she had no control over what was being thrown across the room. I don't normally say this but I do feel sorry for Sally. She doesn't have any space to air herself out unless she's given an opportunity to help Keri kill herself. Locked in a hospital ward on a section 3 isn't the type of environment Sally can use properly! Although she has been quite quiet since last night so we all know she's found something out today that she can use to her advantage but I can't for the life of me figure out what has been said.

Again Keri has needed more Lorazepam during the day as Lucinda has now moved on to talking about dead babies. I find swearing an unnecessary thing but with this, it's fucking ridiculous! Keri's spoken to a couple of staff and she's allowed to use the annex at the bottom of the ward. It used to be the HDU but now it's been converted into a small quiet area with four women's bedrooms so all females are allowed down there. Lucinda is unaware at the moment that this is allowed so for now Keri is able to get some quiet time when she needs it away from the person who's making her so miserable! I really hope these antidepressants start working! She didn't take them for the first week of her admission as they were missed off her prescription, now she's been taking them for 4 weeks and there should at least be some improvement! Maybe because of the setting it's taking Keri longer to be able to get back up from the massive downer she has when she starts taking the tablets again...

With bandages on both arms up to her elbows you'd think the staff will have said something but no. Maybe they're of the opinion that Keri's self harming is better than letting her go out and drill a hole in her skull. I do admit this is the preferable option.

Not much has happened. Keri's still pretty gutted about no visitors. It's been a week and NO ONE has come. Why is that? I've no idea. Not even the outreach worker or personal advisor has turned up. It's a bit odd and I'm not actually sure what to make of it.

I've done a little diagram for my psychotherapy session tomorrow. As far as I'm aware it's still planned that I can have the appointment. It may not be all of it and her psychotherapist may ask that she wants Keri back out before she leaves the appointment which is fair. But at least I can do some venting! Still haven't heard anything about Keri's tribunal but it's early days. I think Keri's a bit stupid to do one now. She's on a section 3 so in the whole 6 months she's only allowed one tribunal. If she fails it then basically it's down to the overseeing psychiatrist to discharge her. But like I've said before, she still doesn't think she's ill so asking for a tribunal this early is basically her saying "you're all wrong, I'm not sick, now let me out!". 

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 31

Written by Fox.

DAY 31 - 7th September, Saturday

I will not be surprised if Keri is put on level 3 observation (will explain in next paragraph) later tonight, she's seriously not well even though on the outside it may look like it. She's so depressed and suicidal. She's burned herself again but has moved on to the other arm now as her left one is bandaged from wrist to elbow! Did the nurses or doctor do anything about her self harm last night besides just dressing the injuries? I don't think so! They seem to think that the solution is that if she wants to self harm she goes to the nurses and they give her some Lorazepam. What kind of solution is that? What's she supposed to do when she gets discharged and has become reliant on Lorazepam and her foster parents don't have a supply? I don't understand the logic of it. The rule seems to be "if a patient is causing problems, give them medication so they don't have the brain function to do anything"! 

For those that don't know, there's 3 levels of observation on the ward. Level 1 observation is hourly checks, this happens for every patient even when they're better and due to be discharged. Level 2 observation is checks every 10 minutes which usually happens if someone is distressed or needs more careful watching like if they're likely to hurt themselves or other people without a build up beforehand. Level 3 observation is the top observation and is basically 1 to 1. A nurse has to stay within a certain distance and keep the patient within eyesight at ALL times, complete disregard for any shred of personal dignity or privacy. This is only used if the patient is an immediate and high risk danger to themselves or others. 99.9% of the time it's due to danger to themselves. They stay on this until the risk decreases, then they work their way back down to level 1. It's commonly known here as 'suicide watch'.

Clarissa has been begging for chocolate again today so I guess that's a small blessing that Keri actually got some food in her, an outstanding amount of calories! Obviously she isn't happy about this but at the moment it's the only way Clarissa can get some satisfaction. She can't sneak out in the middle of the night and have sex with the first guy she sees! Although she has been making advances on one of the patients which is a little concerning. He actually seemed to like it so I doubt the staff know, or even give a damn to be honest.

When Keri went with staff to the supermarket to get Clarissa her chocolate Keri became very fixated on the bug again. She asked the staff if there was a DIY bit there, not stating the fact she was looking to see what price a drill would cost. There was no DIY bit thankfully. Unfortunately this means the next time she goes missing (well, Sally to begin with probably) she'll get straight on the bus and make her way to B&Q. The bus outside the hospital goes right past one! Quite close to where she lives too!

So she's had all her medication, is now fully bandaged and hopefully she'll sleep. Even I'm starting to get a little annoyed with being in this place. I want Keri safe and everything but I'm starting to know what Keri means by feeling like a caged animal. She's got no visitors this weekend and I am just sat in hope thinking she won't do anything tonight. I got out her foster mum's teddy and Keri's bracelet and put it on her bedside table like I said I would so she could see it this morning. She saw it, took one look at it, told me to stop interfering and put the teddy and bracelet back hidden behind her DVDs in her wardrobe. This is not a good sign. The minute she starts not caring about anyone and her feelings for even her foster parents start slipping then that's usually a sign to duck and cover!

One thing is for sure, at least she's still sectioned. I'd rather she burn herself rather than kill herself.

Ironically, Lucinda made something for Keri. The same patient who got Keri so messed up a couple of days ago. Lucinda is having a hypomanic episode which Keri is finding annoying. Lucinda talks and talks and you can't get a word in edge ways! So Keri is just listening and not paying much attention, then walking off after smoking while Lucinda is still in midflow. At first Keri felt uncomfortable doing this as she doesn't like upsetting people but now she doesn't particularly care about her feelings at the moment anyway! But here's a picture of what Lucinda made her. Cute but Keri just wants to chuck it at a wall, which will probably happen soon!

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 29 & 30

Written by Fox.

DAY 29 - 5th September

Wow, where do I even begin? Keri was up before 5.30am and pacing around the bloody garden again! I don't mind it when she's awake early but the pacing is ridiculous. I don't know where she gets the energy. I mean she does eat but most of the time it ends up with her throwing it up down the toilet. And when she actually gets food it's from Clarissa eating chocolate! Not exactly the healthiest lifestyle. Keri's personal diet is diet coke, coffee and cigarettes (plus vodka if she relapses into her binge drinking). Very nutritional eh? 

She perked up a little bit when a staff member came to her and asked whether Keri could charge their phone by plugging it into her laptop. She was quite chuffed to be trusted with a staff member's phone!

One of the patients who was admitted last week has had a very big impact on Keri. Lucinda (patient pseudo name) thought she was pregnant. Keri's instinct was no it wasn't true, but of course she didn't say this out loud. The outcome was that she wasn't pregnant but she made a big song and dane about it for most of the day before agreeing to the test. The problem was that Lucinda was talking a lot about pregnancy and everything associated with it which triggered Keri. Keri's been pregnant 4 times (although only 2 she knows about, the other 2 were taken on by 2 alter personalities so she has no idea they even happened). The first time she was pregnant she miscarried (I won't go into the other times as it's not fair on Keri for me to talk about that). She knew that it was going to be a girl (female instinct?) although of course she didn't care about the gender. Her child was due to be born the first week of September roughly and Keri mainly manages to hold it together each year. The first year she went off the handle and ended up in a secure unit by the end of the month. This year was going okay up until the point Lucinda was saying all of this stuff.

By late afternoon Keri was very distressed and crying so the staff gave her some Lorazepam. A member of staff took her and another patient on a walk around the grounds so that Keri could get off the ward and get some air. However near the end of the walk Keri spotted the group of guys following her and kept turning around and staring at them. The staff member stopped and noticed Keri's change in behaviour. He walked over so he was standing next to her while the other patient waited several feet away.

"Keri? What are you looking at?" he asked, looking a bit concerned.

"Those guys behind us," she replied, thinking that it was a stupid question to ask.

"Where?" he said, turning around to look where Keri was looking.

"Right there by the lamppost," she said.

"Can you really see people over there?" he said, turning back to Keri.

"Yes!" she said, getting panicky.

"Keri, there's no one there," he said, looking concerned again. "Do you trust me?"

"No," Keri blatantly replied. 

They carried on walking until they got back to the unit and Keri was left feeling quite paranoid, more so than usual. Although she doesn't think she's paranoid.

With no food in her stomach all day and a cocktail of medication you'd think Keri wouldn't even have the energy to pace, but she went at it for 4 hours! The only break she had was to go and get her night time medication at about 11pm. It was clear how distressed she was and she spoke to the staff, Cat (one of her key nurses) was working and Keri vented to her about things. After this it was back to her rigorously pacing the garden. By the time it got to midnight things hadn't improved so she was given another dose of Lorazepam. This worked a bit and she did start feeling a bit wobbly on her feet. She managed to get dressed into her pyjamas and then sit at her desk and draw what was on her mind. By about 1am her eyes had started going a bit blurry and unfocused so by the time it was 1.30am she was able to lie down in bed and fell asleep fairly quickly, even after the distress she'd had. I think being on a constant spiral of adrenalin all day had exhausted her and by the time her body actually let her lie down the exhaustion just hit her like a brick in the face. At least she got some proper sleep!

DAY 30 - 6th September

Today Keri hasn't been herself at all. Her teddy and bracelet are still locked in the back of her wardrobe but I intend to get them out and put them on her bedside table for when she wakes up tomorrow morning. She woke up quite late because of all the medication she had last night but when she did wake up she was in a horrible mood. She thinks she's got nothing left to lose, so refused her medication, paced around the garden, refused to speak to anyone and then spent an hour sitting on her bathroom floor in the dark before her psychotherapist arrived for their session today.

Because her psychotherapist didn't have a key to Keri's bedroom door, a staff member had to open it as Keri had it locked. That was when they found her crying on the floor of her bathroom. Her psychotherapist when she saw Keri was very quick to make sure that it was Keri who was crying on her bathroom floor and that she hadn't dissociated into someone else. Vex seemed to be of the opinion that it would be better to force Keri to get up, knowing she'd refused her medication in the morning. He tried to move her arms away from her face and tried to get her standing up instead of huddling in a ball. Why physically do that to a patient who's already clearly distressed? He offered to go and get her some Lorazepam but she refused to get involved with any pills. She thinks they're all placebos. Vex and her psychotherapist stayed with her for a while before Vex left and her psychotherapist grabbed a chair and sat next to Keri.

Keri just cried. She felt like she was being left in a cage. She hasn't had anyone visit her or been able to go home since Sunday and the triggers from yesterday were still really strong. She told her psychotherapist that she'd given up and that she didn't feel like she had anything to fight for anymore. After about an hour of Keri being on her bathroom floor, she got up and they went outside so Keri could smoke. Her psychotherapist sat with her for another half an hour, finally persuading her to take her medication. She offered for Keri's other personalities to take part in the appointments if they wanted to so they didn't feel so trapped so it's been decided that I get to have Keri's appointment on Monday. Brilliant for me as there's so much I need to talk about!

She's made a request to appeal against her section. She asked for written proof to keep which the staff gave her. I'm taking photos of all her paperwork and keeping them on her iPad, just to be safe. She's been known to go off on one and just tear everything up so those photos might end up being very important!

Besides that it's been pretty quiet. Keri's burned herself again though, which she also did last night. I can't believe the staff are letting her do this! Understandable that they think it's a coping technique but when it gets to the point she's got the whole of her left lower arm bandaged because of the amount of burns? That's just beyond ridiculous. It's really annoyed me! But oh well, trying to stay calm for Keri's sake. The nurses seem to be getting concerned about the frequency of it happening this evening and are getting the doctor to see her when they come in about 11.30pm. Maybe she'll have to be supervised smoking or whatever but they better do something!

I don't know how much longer she can take in this place before she has a massive kick off again. I really hope that her foster parents are able to get her home for some leave this weekend but i just got a message saying they'll see her on Monday? Doesn't look like home leave is happening! If that's the case then Keri is going to end up going completely off on one. Keri's feeling quite torn about whether her foster parents want her or not. Of course they do! But she's sunk into that level of depression where she thinks she's worthless, unloveable and a waste of space. :(

P.S. Here's the drawing she started on yesterday evening...

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 28

Written by Fox.

DAY 28 (4 weeks) - 4th September

Keri was up pretty early today as she didn't sleep too well. The fact she was going to be given another mental health act assessment today was really getting to her. She wanted to be up so that it might be possible to see the doctors in the morning as she was planning to go on home leave in the afternoon. Unfortunately, her foster mum was tied up and wasn't going to be able to get down to get Keri to take her for some home leave. Keri loves her foster parents to bits and got quite upset to begin with. She's feeling more and more like a caged animal. Her foster mum has got a 2 day training course tomorrow and Friday which means any hope of Keri seeing her foster family isn't going to be until the weekend! That was the main reason she was so upset. She even put her foster mum's teddy at the back of her wardrobe behind all the DVDs and took off her bracelet and threw it behind the DVDs to join the teddy. I tried to keep her calm but she just wouldn't stop crying. I know that it wasn't just all because she wasn't able to go home for a few hours, it's everything that's built up and it all just came out in tears. Her foster mum not being able to take her home was, what's the saying? The straw that broke the camel's back. 

Her mental health act assessment was late afternoon and she was seen by two doctors and an approved mental health professional (aka an AMHP) with Brian sitting in as one of the nurses. One of the doctors was Dr. Dickhead (Keri's nickname for him not mine!). He's the head consultant psychiatrist on the ward. As soon as Keri saw him she thought she'd be able to be discharged. Dr. Dickhead is well known for keeping people in hospital only as an emergency, ESPECIALLY when it comes to keeping people on a section. She thought she was on to a winner! The meeting started out by each of them introducing each other and then Dr. Dickhead started his spiel. I was listening very intently but Keri was barely concentrating. At some stage she'll find this blog post and realise what the hell he was saying!

"Right, Keri, do you know this is a mental health act assessment?" he asked. When Keri nodded he continued. "Well, you were admitted on a section 2 which was mainly for assessment and treatment if we thought you needed it. This assessment is basically to decide what's going to happen now that the 28 days is due to expire. There are four choices here. The first is for me to discharge you and continue treatment at home with your care coordinator and art therapist. The second is for me to discharge you on a Community Treatment Order which means you'll be discharged only if you follow certain conditions such as continuing your medication and going to appointments, if you don't stick to these then we can readmit you back into hospital on a section. The third option is that you stay voluntarily. The final option is that we transfer you to a section 3 which means we can treat you here for up to 6 months. We know already about your DID but this admission is mainly to determine whether we need to keep you here to treat you for a co-morbid psychotic illness. Did you understand all that?"

No, you idiot, of course she didn't. She hardly heard a word. The interview wasn't too long and Keri barely said much. I wouldn't say it even lasted 20 minutes and that was mainly Dr. Dickhead talking! Even so, once they'd finished they said they were going to discuss things for ten minutes and then one of them would come and tell her the outcome. After about 20 minutes the AMHP came in and told Keri that it had been decided that she was deemed as having a psychotic illness that needed to be treated and she was being placed on a section 3. She was still not going to be allowed any leave from the ward without being escorted by staff or a responsible adult (e.g. her outreach worker, her foster parents etc) that could keep an eye on her for any signs that she might do something dangerous like sticking a power drill to her head or running off to the suspension bridge, just a couple of many examples.

Keri was gutted about the outcome. She knows she's going to be here for a while as she isn't even allowed out alone yet. A staff member took her to the supermarket to get some chocolate (Clarissa was screaming for it) and when she got back the physiotherapist then turned up! So she was off to the gym to do her core stability exercises to sort out her joints and that kind of thing. By the time she was taken back to the ward she just wanted to cry her little heart out again. So she got in, hid under her desk and sat there for half an hour crying. She did feel a bit better because it let out a lot of frustration.

Thankfully she hasn't kicked off today. I think she knew deep down that she wouldn't be going home after what they'd said in her ward round yesterday. Sally has been unusually quiet which is normally a sign she's plotting something. Wait, normally? I mean ALWAYS!!! But for now things are calm. She's had all her medication, she's watching Alan Carr's Spexy Beast DVD which she bought today and overall trying to maintain her calm front. She doesn't want anyone to see how miserable she really is. It's unfortunately gotten to the point where Keri is now thinking, in no uncertain terms, "if I don't get this bug out of my head soon I'm just going to kill myself". I hope to god that no one accidentally leaves her unescorted for now. She's like a bubbling volcano of emotions. It's horrible to sit here and not be able to do anything about it.

I'm so glad I've got you guys being so supportive. The DID page is really helping me cope by knowing I'm helping others when I feel helpless in regards to Keri!

P.S Her care coordinator visited but I wasn't really around. All I know is Keri was getting seriously tetchy because her care coordinator kept trying to convince her that the bug in her head was a build up of stress, much like her art psychotherapist telling her the bug is 'metaphorical'...

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 27

Written by Fox.

DAY 27 - 3rd September

Well, we all knew it was coming. Keri's being transferred from a section 2 (28 days) to a section 3 (6 months). Two doctors are coming out to see her tomorrow for a 'second opinion' but this is only a mere formality. There was no discussion in her ward round (which didn't happen until nearly 5pm!) about a discharge plan and the doctors refuse to let her have any unescorted leave off the ward yet because of the danger she still poses. Even though her antipsychotic dose was put up last week it hasn't made any difference although it can take a couple of weeks to kick in. Maybe they'll end up changing it again next week in her next ward round. She had a long chat with a nurse afterwards and was given both Diazepam and Lorazepam. The nurse said as he gave it to her that it was a lot of medication to be having at one time but I think they were trying to avoid another massive kick off like Keri had last week. This has meant her evening has been quite relaxed. I even saw a glimpse of her sarcastic sense of humour coming out, and she even spoke and joked with some other patients which she hasn't done before!

She had physiotherapy again this afternoon but this time the physiotherapist took her to the gym. She was down there for an hour or two going through some exercises to help with her joints. She's also been give a weight to use to use for her wrist strengthening exercises. She was on the exercise bike for a little while before using the gym balls. Now that was hilarious! She kept falling off the ball, so did the physiotherapist for that matter!

She got back to the ward expecting to rest a little bit before her ward round but then an occupational therapist turned up at her bedroom door to say that the yoga sessions had started up again and the first session was going to start. She went down to the sports hall escorted by staff and did the yoga. She didn't find it very relaxing as she's quite tense. She went back to the ward with another patient unescorted! She desperately wanted to run away to get the bug out of her head but wanted to go through with her ward round as she was genuinely convinced she was going to be told she'd be allowed home or at least be able to go out alone. If Keri had known what the outcome in her ward round was going to be she would NOT have gone back. If she does yoga next week and the same scenario happens and a staff member isn't there to pick her up, she's going to be gone.

This evening has been pretty good as Keri's been drugged up to her eyeballs. Even though she's had a really hard day she's managed to make other patients smile and laugh. She wasn't happy but she hates seeing other people upset. One of the downfalls with Keri is that she's too nice! She puts everyone ahead of herself even if it means sacrificing something that means a lot to her. She hates people being upset, she hates people worrying, which is most of the reason why she doesn't like people caring about her. If people care about her it means that they worry about her and don't like seeing her upset; a role reversal she's not comfortable with. I don't even know if I explained that very well! 

But good night guys. Looks like we're going to be stuck in here for a while...

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 26

Written by Fox.

DAY 26 - 2nd September

Keri's been revved up most of today. I think that's because it's a big day for her tomorrow. There's a professionals' meeting in the morning (which she doesn't get invited to) and then her ward round is in the afternoon. It's being deliberately booked for the afternoon just in case anyone from the professionals' meeting wants to be at the ward round. It's basically going to be the decision of whether she stays in hospital and placed on a section 3 or whether she gets discharged home. Discharge at this point is very unlikely which means another kick off like the one she had on Thursday is very likely to happen.

She had all her physiotherapy today and the physiotherapist is going to start taking her to the gym every afternoon starting tomorrow to try and figure out what's wrong with her joints. No one has said anything about arthritis so the tests must have been normal. Now it's down to the physiotherapist to put a name to the condition Keri has which she's finding very difficult because of the multitude of Keri's symptoms! 

I know she had her psychotherapy session today and that it went fairly well. I don't really know much detail except that her psychotherapist had never seen her in such a tetchy mood. I decided that I needed a rest for a bit so I pretty much left Keri to it. Her psychotherapist is going to be at the professionals' meeting tomorrow.

She's really been quite tetchy and not wanted to talk to anyone. She's spent most of her day with her headphones on and pacing again. The hospital is starting to get to her a lot. All she sees is herself being dumped in the middle of a load of people that are mentally unwell. What she hasn't yet realised is that she's also mentally unwell! Still in complete denial. There's something seriously wrong though as she's now sat drinking coffee and watching the Hannah Montana movie! Hopefully she'll at least TRY to lie down before midnight...

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 25

Written by Fox.

DAY 25 - 1st September

Before you point it out, yes I missed out a couple of days. Keri was pretty zonked out on her medication increase so it was pointless me saying much! About the most exciting thing that happened was that she went to the supermarket with her foster mum, and even that felt like a marathon to her. On the bright side though she's been sleeping very well at night and even snoozing during the day. Unfortunately those effects are starting to wear off. Or maybe they're not and Keri's got this half-Keri half-Sally thing going on at the moment. The medication Keri is on effects her a lot when it's changed but doesn't effect Sally and this evening Keri and Sally have been out at the same time! The characteristics of this are that Keri becomes very angry with everyone, doesn't want to speak, kicks out at things and is generally rude or verbally abusive without realising it.

Her foster mum came to pick her up about 12.30pm which had been planned. She was going to go for some home leave which I thought was going to do her some good. In some ways it did but in other ways it just showed her exactly what she's missing. Her and her foster parents had some long chats, at times having a sense of humour or just talking casually (you've got to have a sense of humour sometimes!). What came out of the conversation was that Keri quickly realised that it was unlikely she'd be discharged at her ward round next week when her section is due to expire. Her foster dad was trying to get Keri to believe that what she's experiencing is psychosis (although of course they try not to use that word around her, I'm just using it to get to the point). In other words, not real. It didn't work. I have to admit I was listening to the whole conversation and her foster parents were doing a really good job at being logical with Keri but she wasn't having any of it. Like I often say, you can't have a rational argument with an irrational person. That's exactly what psychosis is, it's based on irrationality. There were some good times though when she wasn't focusing on her foster dad's drill or watching the guys she sees out of the living room window spying on the house. It wasn't all bad. The only reason I'm mentioning a lot of the bad stuff is because I'm trying to make these blogs as close to Keri's head space as I can and all she had was a black mist. She's in her own psychotic world and no logical argument is going to get her out of it. She did laugh a few times with her foster parents when they managed to temporarily draw her out of her head for a bit. They have a wicked sense of humour!

When it was time to go Keri just sat there and said, "I'm discharging myself."

She was sat outside with her foster dad who said, "You can't discharge yourself."

"It's too late," she said. "I already have done."

This ended up in about a 20 minute conversation with her foster dad trying to persuade her to go back to the hospital. She hates being sectioned and her foster dad quite rightly said, "You've been sectioned. You have no rights." Rights as in she can't discharge herself or make any form of decision without talking to her overseeing psychiatrist as she's not deemed to have the mental capacity. Well, that's how I understood it anyway. He could've meant something completely different! She eventually went with her foster mum in the car back to the hospital. She didn't want to go but if she didn't it would've resulted in the police having to take her back instead which would've provoked Sally, which would've been big bad news.

When she got back to the ward she hadn't even walked through the entrance before the whole "half-Keri half-Sally" thing started happening. She didn't speak to anyone. When someone did speak to her she told them to fuck off. She even refused her evening medication and spent a couple of hours pacing around the garden smoking and talking to herself. 

She did manage to calm herself down a bit at around 8.30pm and went and asked to speak to staff. She got a good nurse (let's call him Brian) and he sat and chatted to her for a while. Her talking was at super speed because she was so frustrated and her head was whirring around so fast she couldn't slow down her words. By the end of her chat she agreed to take her medication which she was supposed to have taken 3 hours earlier. She was grateful that Brian had found the time to talk but also frustrated over the fact that he said it was likely she'd be put on a 6 month section (she's still not allowed any unescorted leave) and also because he said she had delusional thoughts and psychotic thinking. Mention the word 'psychotic' and Keri goes off on one! 

She calmed down a bit afterwards but is still very tense as Sally is still like a walking time bomb. It would be good for Sally to come out so she could blow off steam in a safe environment where Keri won't get hurt but she doesn't seem to want to do that. Maybe she knows that she won't be able to do anything to Keri and won't fully come out for that reason. Who knows. All I know is that right now, Keri's been crying over the fact she just wants to be discharged and go home. She has no freedom, she has no rights, she has no privacy. But she's in a safe place and no one is going to let her drill a hole in her head or do anything life threatening. 

Oh yeah! Forgot to mention her care plan! She was given a copy when she got back from home leave which is what I think triggered everything to go off completely. She thought it was absolute bullshit and scribbled corrections all over the place, swearing and cussing and calling all the nurses fuckers. What annoyed her most was the part that said she says she requested a tribunal however no one has any record of this. She asked three nurses about wanting a tribunal three days after she was admitted, one of which said it had been recorded and put down! That's the part that tipped her over the edge, and Sally for that matter. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better and calmer day.