DAY 119 & 120 - 4th & 5th November, Wednesday & Thursday
Yesterday was quite a quiet day. Keri was herself all day which was reassuring. She saw her personal advisor for social services and then spent most of the rest of her time in her room with her DVDs and music. She was desperate to have some of her own space. She thought she was going to get it by moving to Alder Unit as she was told she'd only be checked on once every shift. She was still on hourly observation.
Waking up today, Keri felt quite tense and knew Sally was lingering. She tried to do her normal routine, starting off by going down to do her physio in the gym. Her key worker had a chat with her when she got back and asked how Keri was.
"Feeling a bit tense," Keri said. "Something bad is going to happen."
"Is that a gut feeling?" she said. "Like a sense of impending doom?"
"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Keri said, smiling slightly.
"You know what I mean," she said. "We're here if you need us."
Later that evening, Keri asked if she could go out on unescorted leave. She wanted to get some goodies from the supermarket. She had no intention of disappearing. Her plan was to go to the supermarket and then come back to the unit so that she could build up her leave and eventually get off of her section. Unfortunately, Keri dissociated and she found herself standing in some bushes in pitch black right next to the suspension bridge.
The problem with Keri is she's consciously trying to think of her future, however, subconsciously she's still suicidal. Sally is part of Keri's subconscious so acts on these feelings. Keri wasn't angry at all. In fact, she was glad. She's been struggling so much that she knew that finally it could all be over. Those subconscious feelings were how conscious and in the forefront of her mind. There was no one on the bridge and she sprinted to the middle of it. What she didn't realise was that there was a passer by on the other side of the bridge. She saw Keri climbing over the barrier and ran across the road to pull her down. That stranger saved Keri's life. The security wouldn't have gotten to her in time. She was restrained by security when they ran over to where she was fighting with this woman. Both of them got Keri onto the floor while she struggled. Luckily the woman was still there and security asked her to ring 999 and get the police up to the bridge. She'd been reported missing and only twenty minutes earlier security had been told to look out for her. They even had the helicopter flying in circles around the bridge.
Four police cars showed up and she was handed over to the officers by the security guards. At this point she was still fighting against them. When they finally managed to get her into the back of a
police car she gave up. She went into another dissociative stupor until they got back to the hospital. Since being back at the hospital they've given her all the medication they can and kept her on one to one observation for five hours from 8.30pm until 1.30am when Keri said she was going to get ready for bed. It was decided they could put Keri on ten minute observation for the night. Considering there's only two members of staff, one of them had to be with Keri at all times while the other had to do everything else. The other patients were getting a bit agitated as the staff had to keep all the doors locked, including the doors out to the smoking area. I'm assuming this was done to reassure the police that Keri wouldn't have another episode.
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