Sectioned in Hospital - Day 126 (18 weeks)

Written by Fox.

DAY 126 (18 weeks) - 11th December, Wednesday

Keri's solicitor visited today and has put in the withdrawal application for Keri's tribunal. There isn't any point in her having it as she can promise to stay in the ward for treatment but can't promise it for the rest of her alters, like Sally! I don't mind staying, but some aren't as settled and feel uneasy about the whole thing, especially with Keri attempting suicide or Sally trying to kill us (I guess from an outside perspective that's the same thing).

For most of the day she's kept herself to herself. But by the time late evening came she had a complete mental breakdown. She couldn't stop crying and even ended up crying in front of staff which she never does unless it's extreme distress. She ended up texting her foster mum in the middle of all this asking to go home for a bit and, thankfully, she said yes. Unfortunately, it's all down to Keri's current overseeing psychiatrist to make the decision tomorrow morning as Keri's still under a section. Considering the aftermath of yesterday no one is too clear on what the answer will be. I can say one thing. If Keri isn't allowed out tomorrow then Sally will go nuts for her benefit. Keri will want to just run out the ward but doesn't have the guts. Sally does. That's the problem if they work together like that, it gets us into extremely dangerous situations, normally getting restrained and handcuffed too.

As Keri was so distressed, the staff gave her extra medication which Keri was a bit dubious about as she wants to be awake tomorrow morning when they find out whether she can go home for a bit. But if she didn't take it then she'd spend the night unsettled and it would be doubtful she'd get any sleep, or even stop crying. Matt brought her The Hobbit to watch as he's on the night shift tonight with Bernie. She's getting close to the end now so she'll be able to give it back later. It's kept her distracted which is what Keri has needed. She's also trying to hold onto the hope that she can go home tomorrow.

Keri made a nice new friend in the garden today! It was a ginger and white cat and loved being stroked and petted. I'll have to find a photo and put it on the DID page. It even sat on the table next to where she was sitting and just laid there, rolling on it's back every now and then. Keri's not a cat person and neither am I. But she was pretty, and Keri found stroking it quite therapeutic.

Wish us luck that we can go home for a few hours! Otherwise I doubt there will be a blog post for tomorrow!

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 97

Written by Fox.

DAY 97 - 12th November, Tuesday

Well it's now been 4 days of ten minute observation and being confined to the ward. She hasn't been out at all today and she's starting to get extremely jealous seeing everyone being discharged and going out on leave, most on their own, some with staff. I don't blame them for not letting her out though. She's a high risk, way too high. She was also annoyed to find out that there were only three people on ten minute obs (they don't check the HDU every ten minutes anymore). Keri is one of them and the only reason the other three are is because they're new on the ward. That's really gotten to her.

When she woke up this afternoon she self harmed barely an hour after she got up. She went to the staff who gave her her medication and managed to steri-strip the wound, however it's still gaping. It would've been better being stitched. Then she self harmed again this evening. Blondie gave her her 1am medication and steri-stripped the wounds on her wrist. If she gets any more anxious again then the night staff want her to ask for some Lorazepam if she wants to self harm again. I think that'll work. Keri's looking for drugged up numbness at the moment. That's what the staff want as well until things are more stable!

Keri's solicitor visited this afternoon and has put in another application for Keri to have a tribunal which surprised us because we had been told we weren't allowed to, but apparently we can. She also said that if Keri wanted to cancel it she'd just have to say so. Her solicitor did say that the likelihood of her getting a tribunal this month wasn't going to happen. It'll be at least the middle of December, possibly even January. She did have some interesting thoughts though. The idea was that Keri was to go to the rehab ward in the hospital so that Keri can learn to do day to day things, such as taking medication, not isolating herself, eating, getting a sleep routine etc. The problem her solicitor spotted was that she thought maybe it would be better if Keri went to a more specialist place that specifically deals with dissociative disorders that can help her with her mental health needs instead of just practical skills. Most of the people on these wards are schizophrenic, or have depression, or bipolar. Most staff have never even heard of DID let alone treated someone with it. Her solicitor and an independent social worker are going to do some research.

Keri's ward round was pretty much a one to one with her psychiatrist. Everyone else was dealing with a patient. I felt Keri's sympathy. He was so terrified and frightened and Keri was the only one who won't back away from him when he gets close as they're frightened of him! Poor Keri felt so sorry for him. He's in seclusion now but she asked Blondie about whether he was okay when she was getting her wounds sorted. 

Anyway, Keri's psychiatrist has decided to put up her dose of antipsychotics again. Drugs, drugs and more drugs. I really hope someone can find her a specialist unit. That's if she doesn't kill herself before things are arranged! :(

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 64

Written by Fox.

DAY 64 - 10th October, Thursday

Some serious review of Keri's sleeping medication needs to happen! Night time is supposed to be my time not Keri's! Either way, she slept in again and was woken up by the fire alarm. Haha! At midday it just started up. There wasn't a fire but we had to evacuate anyway. The bloody thing was ringing for 15 minutes! All because the cleaners had been idiotic and steam cleaned one of the interview rooms without opening the door to the garden!

Keri had an hour to wake up before she was ambushed by another medical student. Another guinea pig moment as she calls it. He spent three hours talking to her! He was extremely interested in her, to the point that Keri's solicitor arrived and sat down with them (they were in the HDU lounge area) and he carried on talking to her for another 15 minutes before saying thank you and then leaving Keri with her solicitor.

Unfortunately, Keri's solicitor has never dealt with anyone with DID. Much like the bloody doctors here. Why even put it in the big diagnostic manual of mental disorders if no one knows what the hell it is or how to treat it? Even so, her solicitor sounded nice and was on Keri's side. Her suggestion was that because Keri can only have one tribunal every six months then it might be a good idea to cancel the tribunal at the end of the month and then review her section when she's been moved to rehab (if she's moved to a rehab unit within this hospital then they can put her in there while she's sectioned if they think it's more appropriate). Then, if things in rehab aren't good then Keri will still have a chance to change things. Keri's solicitor left after about half an hour saying that she was going to have a quick read of Keri's notes on the computer that the staff write every shift about behaviour, mood, activity etc. She's coming back on the 18th to discuss whether it would be better to cancel the tribunal and have it at a later date. Her section doesn't end until March and that's a fair while away! So we'll see what her solicitor suggests when she comes back, Keri also has her card so can contact her any time. Keri usually goes by what the solicitors suggest as they have her best interests. The one she had that represented her when social services took her to court to get an order to have Keri detained in a secure unit was really good and managed to get Keri only 6 weeks in that place when social services wanted a minimum of 3 months!

I have some great news! Keri and Mick have got their spark back! It's been a bit awkward as Sheila has decided to go on and on about how they'd make a great couple and trying to matchmake them. What's the point in that? They've already been put together! The matchmaking thing is long gone. Keri's spent a while this evening with Mick to keep him distracted. He's had things going on with his kids and his ex is the bitch from hell. So he was on the phone to her and got real upset. When he came outside after the phone call you could see he'd been crying. Keri instantly felt sympathetic and went to give him a hug but Sheila jumped in.

"You okay?" Sheila said as they were hugging.

"I'm fine now," he said.

"Good," she said, going to sit down and then she started yattering on about herself again.

Keri walked over and gave him a hug as he looked like he was going to cry again.

"I don't like seeing you upset," she muttered in his ear.

"I'm alright," he said.

"Bullshit," she said, hugging him tighter. "You may be fooling everyone else but you can't fool me. So don't bother lying."

He laughed when she said that and the staff came out. After another few seconds they stopped hugging but Keri stuck close by just in case something triggered Mick off again. Sheila seems to think she knows him inside out. I think she forgets about the fact Keri and Mick have spoken to each other about loads of touchy subjects. About the most she knows is that he has two kids (one biological). Because of this it bugs Keri when she starts yattering on about crap. Keri just wants to shut her up and say "Not everything is about you! The world doesn't just evolve around you and your life!" I think she'll end up snapping at some stage and saying that!

Keri's been feeling quite ill today but that's because of Sally. She's trying a new tactic. Instead of making Keri feel tense or having a massive headache, Keri's got so many aches and pains, and feels really quite ill. It's all psychosomatic. She's not physically ill but Sally is making her brain think it is. I think it's just cruel. If you're going to come out Sally then come out! Stop dragging it out and punch someone!