DAY 19 - 26th August
It wasn't a good start for Keri. She was pacing the garden at 5am and decided to burn herself with her cigarettes again. Big black cross against the discharge idea. She's still drawing a lot. It's her silhouettes which are getting better and better!
Keri's home leave was 'okay'. Liz and Phil know she needs to stay in hospital for longer though because of the way she was. She enjoyed the fact she was back at home and with her foster family but it was very obvious that she was still psychotic; she was staring out of the window at visual hallucinations of people that are supposedly spying on the house, she was very paranoid while her and her foster mum were shopping and back at the house, and that bug started scratching away at Keri's head so she paced up and down the garden a bit. I was extremely scared for her as her foster dad was using his power drill to fix a shelf on the fridge door. It was within her reach. The rushing thoughts, that overwhelming compulsion to grab that drill, and put it straight into her head where she could feel it crawling. I honestly thought she was going to grab it.
Going home was hard for her. Her foster parents had already said that they wouldn't lie to the doctors or staff in her CPA on Thursday which Keri is quite annoyed about. Even so, she hated leaving them behind knowing that she was going to resume being locked in the ward again. She's still not allowed unescorted leave. As soon as she has that then Sally or Keri will take opportunity of that, more likely Sally in the beginning to get away fast enough to not be caught. Just think quiet thoughts!
Got plenty of DVDs she brought back. I'm hoping that'll distract her more to pass the time and maybe her concentration could improve.
DAY 20 - 27th August
Another long day for Keri. She saw the physiotherapist this morning and she doesn't think it's arthritis although wants to make sure the blood results are clear. I'm assuming if they weren't someone would've seen Keri by now. Well, it's the NHS so who knows what to expect?!
Her outreach worker visited and they went to the supermarket to do some shopping and have a drink. It was good for Keri to get off the ward. I think it would've been too much to go any further today, not with the way she's feeling. She's added another burn to her wrist because the hallucinated men that are 'following her' were shouting abuse through the garden fence. That's three burns in total she has now. I'm hoping she won't do it again. I'm also very surprised they haven't confiscated her cigarettes or sit outside and watch her smoke if they have to. Isn't this supposed to be a place of safety?
Keri was actually nice to the staff earlier, which annoyed Clarissa! Keri had bought some chocolate variety things and decided to give them to the staff as a kind gesture. They were intended for Clarissa so she's not happy! However Keri does still have some packets of lollies which should keep her occupied for a while!
Keri's made more injuries to her head today. Poor girl got so desperate and used pieces torn off of a coke can! She hasn't told staff this though, they haven't even asked as it was late this evening she did it. I'm very suspicious that Sally has managed to get some blades. I don't know for definite but you know when your gut is trying to tell you something and it feels like an instinct? It's a bit like that. Well we'll find out sooner or later, or maybe we won't, best just to leave it and hope for the best. I'm doing a lot of hope here, hanging out on a leap of faith!
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