DAY 164 & 165 - 18th & 19th January, Saturday & Sunday
Keri's got her sleeping pattern all out of sync again. She was actually doing quite well and getting up before midday every day but has suddenly slipped back into old habits. I think she'll try again tomorrow but she's had a hard couple of days, I think her body actually needs the sleep and don't think the staff should be trying to wake her except perhaps to give her medication or she has an appointment. I don't think they realise just how draining dissociating is, or even having to fight all day feeling switchy.
Yesterday when she was feeling switchy in the evening she took her blu-ray player downstairs to the main lounge and borrowed a couple of DVDs that one of the Matts had brought in. That kept her partially distracted although she still found it very hard. The bank nurse that was there actually turned around and said how relaxing the unit was and that he'd never been paid to sit for two hours to watch television! (He was Keri's one to one nurse at the time).
I was quite worried that Sally would hurt Keri last night as she's still a ticking time bomb. Luckily that didn't happen and Keri was actually in bed before 3am! Even though she went to bed earlier than normal she still couldn't get herself out of bed before midday today. Being on her own in her room makes these unknown voices she hears and her visual hallucinations worse. The problem is, half the time Keri doesn't even realise they aren't real so doesn't think to ask the staff for help. Although she's had to spend time in her room as her motor and vocal tics have been getting worse and she gets embarrassed when they happen in front of other people. Normally she's able to keep them suppressed and then have a complete fit of them in her bedroom, but now they've got to the point where she can't hide them very well. She's had them all her life, and it's genetic as some of her family have motor tics too, although they aren't as extreme as Keri's, in fact they're hardly noticeable at all and you wouldn't know they had them if you didn't point them out. That's mainly down to do with stress and anxiety associated with her DID. One of her GPs (when she was younger) was going to refer her to someone she knew that dealt with treatment for Tourette's Syndrome but it was never followed up.
Unfortunately my thought about Sally hurting Keri last night turned out to be right, except the timescale was wrong. It ended up happening around 5.30 this evening. The wound needed stitches but the bloody nurse used skin links when Matt took her to the Urgent Care Centre! The wound glue makes her skin come up in rashes. This is listed as an allergy on her records but obviously wasn't paid attention too. Plus the skin links are useless anyway. The wound isn't even properly together in the middle! It really annoys me when they don't stitch Keri up. She only goes to the hospital when she needs stitches and Julie, who was doing triage, said that she needed them. It was purely on the fact that stitching would take too long and people wanted to go home. Selfish imbeciles.
Another highlight which has gotten Keri fuming is that Garry (the nurse that treated Keri) said that a rule was going to be put in place that the unit would have to send any self harmers to an A&E department. The nearest A&E department is roughly 40 minutes away! The Urgent Care Centre is about 10 minutes! With much lower waiting times. Keri was outraged and said it was total discrimination. She quoted a quote given to her by Mike (a nurse who knows her very well there) when she complained to him about a nurse refusing to give her treatment as 'it would take too long'. He said "The only thing you need to say is that it clearly says in the NMC guidelines that you can't refuse me medical treatment unless I'm aggressive, violent or intoxicated". He said as soon as the NMC guidelines were mentioned then nurses would get a bit hot under the collar. She's planning to ring the hospital tomorrow and see if Mike is working to ask about this new rule and to help her write a letter of complaint about the fact it's mental health discrimination. Good on her. Although she's too occupied with Sally at the moment to have her mind wander very much further than the shouting in her ears.
It's Monday tomorrow so that might mean Keri is being taken off one to one observation, although I doubt that's going to be stopped right now. It's been over a week. I'd say it is good for her to be on one to one because it lowers Keri's risk (which is really high at the moment because she's lacking any form of hope, the forefront of her thoughts is still suicide though I doubt she'll mention that to staff) but it does make Sally get revved up. Keri tried unescorted leave today too but had to rush back after getting her stuff. She started getting a headache in the store and she told Matt this while he walked with her. She really struggled and had to resort to having extra medication when she got back on the ward.
One last thing, Keri fasted for 7 days and something like 15 hours. She ate within a two hour time slot and has started another fast again, until tomorrow during her next two hour time slot (basically where she eats what she wants)... After that she'll be fasting for another 7+ days. She gets weighed tomorrow for her physical obs. God help us all!
