Sectioned in Hospital - 5 months 24 days

Written by Fox.

DAY 178 - 1st February, Saturday

Keri was up by 11am as she was looking forward to her aunt and uncle coming to visit on their way to the airport. She managed to stick to her new routine of going to bed at 3.15am whether she feels tired or not. She's not waking up feeling any more refreshed and her sleep is still restless. She even woke up during the night after having a nightmare and falling out of bed.

Her visit with her aunt and uncle was good. Keri enjoyed their company and catching up on what they've been up to and also letting them know about what was going on with her. They're going on holiday for a couple of weeks so managed to slip a visit in. Keri's hoping to start using FaceTime more to keep in contact with them, it just doesn't work out so well though if she's having a bad depressive episode, or is psychotic, or isn't herself. Jamie spent ages here and left totally exhausted, as was Keri! They even recorded a few videos. One in slow motion and another of them dancing on the Wii to the song Rock Lobster! I think their dancing is funny! She's been trying to put it on Facebook but it won't work!

Keri's still on one to one and has been pretty hysterical for periods. When her brother was here she was switching from crying to laughing to crying to laughing with tears in her eyes. She wanted to burst into tears. Even while she was laughing hysterically she was saying, "My life's so shit!" It was getting a bit worrying actually. Tonight she's now hit a really depressive episode. She's spoken to Ade a bit as she's been panicking about what would happen if Keri was on Lime Unit and it was decided she couldn't come back. Ade reassured her it was only temporary. It's nice to know what we aren't being dumped on someone else as usual when things get out of hand with Sally.

Tomorrow could turn out to be mayhem. Simon told Keri this afternoon that the plan is that he's arranging for Keri to be moved on Monday so that's only the day after tomorrow! Keri's planning to just pack the essentials but whether she gets round to being able to pack without Sally going completely mental I don't know. She might resort to the "do as I say or I'm coming out" tac tic. It worked on Monday! It happened so suddenly that Keri dissociated that no one could catch Sally even when they tried. She's not just a jogger, she's a bloody sprinter! Keep calm, Keri. Just keep calm! 

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 68

Written by Fox.

DAY 68 - 14th October, Monday

Keri actually set her alarm today at 11am to make sure she was up as she had a therapy session at 12.30pm. Instead of getting up she just looked at her alarm going off for a few minutes, hit the off button and snuggled back into her duvet. She fell asleep and was woken up by her psychotherapist; she was knocking on Keri's bedroom door! She gave Keri five minutes to chuck some clothes on and make a coffee and then they went out into the HDU garden to have their appointment. It was quite a constructive appointment but I don't know much more as I wasn't listening properly!

After an hour of therapy, Keri was still sat outside with her psychotherapist when a nurse called Keri and said her aunt and uncle had arrived! So Keri and her psychotherapist walked down to meet her aunt and uncle, she also introduced them to her psychotherapist. Keri was so happy to see them, and it made me happy to see her so happy! They bought Keri some lovely things like scented soap, DVDs, a bracelet, a little chocolate teddy, a small wooden heart and a book with stupid quotes in it! Keri also went shopping with them. Her aunt and uncle said they'd pay for everything but Keri felt embarrassed about it, but then they made a deal that if she ate a pot of pasta then they'd pay for everything, including Keri's cigarettes. Even a couple of smoothies got added to the basket! Keri then got beaten by her uncle and aunt at both pool and table tennis! That was a laugh. Again, really liked to see Keri so happy. It's been a long time since she's been like that. Overall they stayed for about 2 and a half hours! 

She managed to avoid the physio and dietician again. Either they didn't turn up or they did but saw Keri was either asleep or busy. She's not going to complain though! But she can rub in their faces that she had a pot of pasta and two smoothies today. Although her foster mum is coming at 10.30am tomorrow. Good luck getting Keri out of bed Liz! 

There's an app on Keri's iPad called FaceTime and neither me nor Keri knew what the hell it was, but we know now! Her uncle showed us! It's like skype I think, although I've never used skype so can't compare. But Keri wants to keep in touch with her uncle and aunt and using FaceTime instead of just a phone call would be good for her. She tried it out with her mum this evening which was good, and spent a while on the phone to her little brother. Keri's socialising has been non stop all day until this evening hit and she felt like she'd run into a brick wall. Something just got to her and she feels like a prisoner. All she wants to do is get out of the hospital but she still doesn't understand that her way of thinking is delusional or psychotic. She still lacks the insight and the dissociating makes the situation worse! Oh well, ward round tomorrow so maybe the doctor will be helpful... Haha. Doubt it!

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 35 (5 weeks)

Written by Fox.

DAY 35 (5 weeks) - 11th September, Wednesday

I can actually say some good things have happened today. The night was hell. Keri couldn't sleep, couldn't stop crying and in the end needed some Lorazepam to calm her down. She even wrote a letter for her foster parents. Eventually, by 3am, she'd fallen asleep with the help from one of the staff. She was very comforting and kind to Keri. 

Keri didn't even get out of bed until gone 1pm! And that's only because a nurse came in and said her foster parents had turned up to visit! 

"Are you serious?" Keri said, looking at the nurse through blurry eyes.

"Yeah, they're in one of the interview rooms," the nurse said.

"Oh my god, tell them to give me ten minutes," Keri said as she got out of bed. 

She dumped some clothes on, checked her face in the mirror to make sure she looked at least a little bit alive, and then dumped a hat on to hide the fact her hair is so greasy you could fry an egg on it. 

When Keri walked into the interview room with them and had some big hugs, she was close to bursting into tears again. They went out in the garden, smoked and generally chatted. Keri enjoyed their company and gave them the letter she wrote last night while she was in the middle of her constant 3 hour crying. She told them not to open it until they had left though. That's because she'd written about how much she loved them etc and she's not good at wording it verbally and gets embarrassed. She finds it easier to write things like that down. 

As soon as they left she got quite upset again. She was kept on 10 minute observation until this evening when they finally put her back on hourly checks, which Keri is extremely grateful of! Might mean she even has a shower tomorrow morning! That's if she gets out of bed. Definitely an early night today. The amount of medication she's had over the last few days and the constant level of distress has finally hit her like a brick in the face. She's exhausted.

She was even allowed to the supermarket this evening! Under the condition that two members of staff go with her. Even so, she managed to go and get some coffee so her caffeine fixes are all sorted!

Not much else to say about today. If I'm honest, we're all totally exhausted! Besides Sally. She's just angry over the fact the garden she can easily escape from has now been locked until further notice!

I've written this earlier than usual as, like I said, we're all tired so I think Keri will crash tonight.