Sectioned in Hospital - Day 143

Written by Fox.

DAY 143 - 28th December, Saturday

There's not much to say about today. Keri's kept herself in her room and didn't even  get up until gone 4pm because of the fiasco that happened last night. She's barely said a word, been sat in the same positions for hours and seems to be sinking into her 'other' world (will explain later in the post).

The concern from the police has gone really high. Last night the sergeant was concerned over what could happen to Keri, saying that there only has to be 'one time', and about the amount of response he'd had to try and round up to be able to find Keri. As Keri's classed as high risk, the police have to send out all their resources, including the helicopter and the dogs. It spreads their officers very thin on the ground. This could cause some issue with Keri staying on Alder Unit.

Back to Keri, she has 'another world'. It's not even close to a daydream, she actually feels it as another reality, sometimes even more so than this one. Her parents are still together and she's been in hospital since she was 8 years old (which is a way of explaining away her 8 year amnesia). She doesn't have a little brother, and her little sister never died, so there's just her and her sister. According to them she was never in care and she was institutionalised because she's schizophrenic (this is all in her world, it's not fact; although she did have a baby sister who died when she was very young). Keri prefers that world to this one so when she starts getting into a SERIOUS form of depression she slips into an almost catatonic state. Her body is still there but her head is somewhere else. She becomes unresponsive and barely moves a muscle. She presents outwardly in the same way she would if none of us came out and her body was just a shell with no personality filling it, except the difference is, Keri's personality still does fill it, but she's totally involved in a different world. It's very complicated!

Keri's been allowed to go out and smoke alone today but this evening they've started putting her on one to one observation whenever she goes out to smoke. They thought it would be a good idea "just in case" as they've realised that Keri's most likely to dissociate at night time. They've even started checking her straight after handover at 9.30pm instead of waiting for hourly observation and checking her at 10pm to make sure she's still in her room and hasn't disappeared.

Hopefully she'll get an early night tonight. She wants to go to the supermarket tomorrow but she can't do that if she's not up until 4pm! She's well rested from her bad dissociative episode. But if she can't go then I'll go for her. It's the least I can do and at least I'll feel like I've managed to help her somehow!

Sectioned in Hospital - Day 90

Written by Fox.

DAY 90 - 5th November, Tuesday

Keri didn't get up until around midday, and the only reason she dragged herself from her cocoon is because she knew that around 2pm her intermediary and an independent police officer were going to turn up with her video evidence so she could view it. The court case started today so she had to watch her evidence at the same time the court was watching it, although she wasn't watching it at court, she was going to be watching it in a private room in the hospital.

When they arrived, Abz also came along to sit and watch Keri's evidence with her so the four of them sat and watched it. It took ages to sort out playing it and ended up having to use Keri's laptop. It was clear that Keri's attention was completely elsewhere as the police officer commented that all she'd seen of Keri was that her eyes were just darting all over the place besides the rare moments when they were focused on her laptop screen. It was also clear that Keri wasn't very well and was in quite a dissociative state. Every time someone said something to her or had to speak to her, they'd have to say it at least twice before they managed to get Keri's attention, and even then she'd forget what they'd said a couple of minutes later.

Abz was finally able to take Keri back to the ward (they went to use a room in the outpatients unit) at about 5pm so she'd been there for 3 hours, obviously with smoking breaks whenever Keri got up and said, "I'm going to smoke." After that they just paused the DVD each time while Abz quickly followed her out into the hospital grounds while Keri smoked. It seemed to go on forever! 

Keri's psychotherapist turned up afterwards just to check in on how Keri was doing and she wasn't good. Her flashbacks were getting worse and worse and her headaches she gets when a big dissociative episode is going to happen was getting worse as well. Her psychotherapist wished Keri good luck and said that she'd be in on Thursday to check in on things before having their usual appointment on Friday. Keri's optimistic that the court case should go smoothly like last time with no Sally incidents but I already know that Sally's going to kick off, and if she doesn't successfully get what she wants after Keri gets cross examined then she'll be laying in wait until the day afterwards.

We have to be up at 6.30am! Good luck to the staff for getting us out of bed. Clari is normally pretty good at that, she got us up early on Keri's birthday through excitement! But this is different and she definitely won't want to come out and help Keri to get out of bed, especially with all the extra medication Keri's had to have this evening.

Her mood wasn't too bad until about 8pm when she was sat wanting to cry but just couldn't force herself to, even though she knew she'd feel better letting it all out. It has to eventually hasn't it? At some stage she's just going to burst and crying will be inevitable. Instead of crying she went into another state of catatonia, which her psychotherapist has now said is a form of being in a dissociative state. It's been described before as the body not having a pilot. All of us are inside the body but none of us want to come out and take control, which means the body is sat completely still in the position it was left in and non responsive to any stimuli until one of us decides to come out and use it, almost like a tool! She then spent a few hours being sick in her bathroom because of how much her anxiety was effecting her, bearing in mind this was after all the drugs had started to kick in!

Well, she's had a lot of medication and I'm definitely feeling drowsy myself so probably won't publish this until tomorrow as I need to let Keri sleep. Night guys. I'm really hoping everything goes well.