I was meant to post yesterday but somehow I never got around to it. I think I was caught up too much in my own thoughts to do anything. I don't think I even came online, which for me is a weird thing to happen!
Finished week 4 of group. Only week 4? It feels like forever! In a good way. I think. It's really intense but in some ways it's helping. All of us patients are seeing each other 3 times a week and it's amazing. None of us has yet missed a session, even though we've had 12 sessions. I'm quite surprised at this. The only other group I've done was when I was under the care of CAMHS. I did DBT (Dialectic Behaviour Therapy) for a year and that involved a group session once a week. From each session to the next you never knew who was going to turn up, if anyone else was going to at all! It might be why this adult group is helping me, everyone's turning up, it's a stable and safe environment, and I get along really well with the other patients. Go me! :)
I've managed to set out my reward scale for losing weight. I've put on weight in the last few months and in the last couple of weeks I've vowed to get back down to 77lb. Or less. I'm not holding that as a deadline as last time I was that weight I wanted to be lower... but for now that is my goal. When I get back to that weight I've decided I'm going to get a tattoo as a reward. Obviously, I have rewards at certain points to keep me motivated to lose the weight but that's my ultimate reward. I think it's very motivating. I am desperate to get this tattoo! I've wanted one for months! But considering I've waited months, I can wait a little longer until I've lost the weight.
I'm not isolating myself so much at the moment. I mean, I'm not really communicating very much with the rest of my foster family but I'm at least spending some time downstairs; even if it's only sat at the dining room table with my laptop and headphones in my ears. The good thing about this house is that we have an open plan kitchen/dining room/lounge. So wherever I'm sitting downstairs there's normally someone else around, whether it be cooking in the kitchen or fast asleep on the sofa.
I got my guitar out. It's been stuffed in my wardrobe for several weeks but I got it out again. I even wrote a couple of songs which I think are pretty okay. I'm not the most fantastic singer or player in the world but I am pretty good. Although, I freeze up instantly if I think anyone's listening or within earshot. This is a bit of a bummer as it kinda limits my ability to play at full volume. I have to dumb down the tone a little which makes it more difficult to sing or play. When no one else is upstairs and I'm sat in my room though, full power to me ;)
Hope you're all well. I am still reading everyone's blogs, I'm just not commenting very much. Don't think that's because I don't care, I really do. I just have very limited time in regards to getting online. I may be downstairs instead of in my room but I'm not actually online that much, I can't be dealing with it. Especially Facebook! Oh. My. God. Don't get me started on that. Some people on there... in my opinion they need to be shot. I'll get onto that at some other time otherwise this post is going to be outrageously long!
Ciao for now, mi amigos. x
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