Hey guys! I know it's been about three months since I last wrote a post but I went a bit loopy when Keri got weaned off her Quetiapine. She's now been back on it for several weeks and is even on a larger dose than before (although she's unfortunately still psychotic).
I wish I could say things have been good but they haven't. Keri managed to get back to Alder Unit but it barely lasted a month before they were forced to move her to Silver Birch which is another acute unit in the hospital. The reason for this is because one of Sally's memories leaked out and she was very upset by it. Instead of wanting to kill Keri, she turned her rage against Keri's parents. Somehow she managed to get to Keri's mum's house after going missing from the hospital, which resulted in Sally being faced with nearly a dozen officers who'd been called out by Keri's mum at her house. They all had riot shields and tazers as Sally was holding a ten inch blade, and Sally was dragged out of the house handcuffed and put in the back of a police van and brought back to the hospital. Due to the seriousness of this, Sally was taken by the police and a member of staff from Alder to the seclusion unit on another ward (which is basically an empty room with a mattress in it, if you can even call it a mattress). Sally remained in there for half an hour before Keri switched back and the first thing she asked the staff from Alder was why the hell she was in seclusion. The staff spoke to her and told her what happened through the intercom. Despite Keri being Keri again she was kept in seclusion for several hours and medicated so much that by the time they decided Keri could go back to Alder she could barely stand up on her feet.
The conditions for Keri going back to Alder was that her room was searched for any obvious weapon in case Sally came out again, Keri had to take more medication before leaving, and she had to be on 2-to-1 observation for the rest of the night (for those that don't know, 2-to-1 observation means that you have to be in visual sight of two members of staff at all times). When Keri got back to Alder she pretty much collapsed in bed and woke up the next morning with a member of staff still sat at her door. She was down to 1-to-1 observation and it was to remain that way.
What we didn't realise is that while Keri was blissfully ignorant to what the staff were doing behind the scenes, they were arranging to have her transferred to a more secure ward as she now had "attempted homicide" on her record which is very serious.
Keri's been here now for a day short of three weeks and she's still on ten minute observation due to her unpredictability. Sally came out on Sunday and decided to mess up Keri's arm. So now she's a bit stuck. People are making phone calls, trying to get specialist advice and trying to arrange a transfer to a more secure, long term facility until Keri is stable. She's very depressed and has taken a turn for the worse today. She's barely said a word to anyone and she's terrified to say anything. She trusts nobody. She had ward round today and the psychiatrist is putting up her dose of antipsychotics again as she's still exhibiting strange behaviours and thought patterns. Officially we found out she's diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder and Dissociative Identity Disorder with transient psychotic episodes. She has a tribunal at the beginning of June which her solicitor is going to for her but everyone's been blatantly honest and said there is no way on earth she's going to be able to get her section lifted, especially with Sally still expressing severe homocidal intent.
To give you an insight, Keri wrote this about two hours ago. I'm sure she won't mind me sharing it, although she doesn't really read the blog anyway!
"Sometimes I wonder how people can believe in God. These things are sent to test us? My family think I'm a lunatic. My foster family cares more and they aren't blood related. I hate having these illnesses. I hate having to rely on medication just to get me through the day. I hate how unpredictable I am. One minute I can be fine, the next Sally could be absconding with homicidal intent. I don't want to feel so depressed. All this noise in my head, the bug, the visions, all these fucking voices, my alters arguing. Some of the feelings I get make me such a horrible person. I know I will go to hell when I die but surely it has to be better than this?! I've been sectioned for nearly nine and a half months and all that's happened is I've bounced around wards and my mother's almost been killed. It's too late to help me now. I'm too fucked up. I'll die the same way I've lived, classed as a fucking lunatic. Who can love someone like me? I'm unloveable!!"
It breaks my heart knowing she feels like this but all me and David can do right now is try controlling Sally so Keri doesn't have to panic and worry all the time. I don't know how to help her, and neither does anyone else. She's in an emergency stage of treatment and with what's now on her record, I'm worried about where she'll go, how long for and whether Sally will eventually get what she wants.
It's nice to be back in contact with you guys. Hopefully I can start posting more on the DID page :)
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