Saturday, 29 June 2013

Types of Alter Personalities

Within a system there are various types of alters. Some systems will have none, some a few, some will have several of them all. It all depends on the person and their alters. No two people with DID are alike. If there are types of alters listed here that you don't have, don't feel left out! Likewise if I don't list an alter that you yourself have, or your loved one has, don't feel I'm ignoring that type. I'm only going to be listing the most common ones to try and keep things simple.

1) The Host (main personality)
The host is the alter that takes charge of everyday life and is the person who is out most often. If you were to meet a person with DID then this is the most likely alter that you'll meet before you even know they have the disorder. The host is often depressed, introvert, dependent on others and can feel easily rejected. The opposite can also happen to hide the inner feelings; the host may seem overly happy or excitable. The host personality can usually be easily taken over by other personalities and is sometimes classed as the weakest personality, especially when they're unaware of having DID or are in early stages of treatment.

2) The Original (birth personality)
Occasionally, the host personality is different to the original personality. The original personality is the person who was born in the first place. If the host and the original are different people, the original will rarely come out but will be the most powerful personality and normally know who all the others are in the system if the host doesn't. They have the power to go in and out whenever they like but mostly choose not to because of the fear of having to face memories or other such things. If this is the case, the other alters are usually very guarded and protective of the original, treating them like a sort of treasure to make sure they don't get hurt. This is normally only the case when the host and original are different people. This can be quite complicated in therapy when trying to get the original to come out.

3) The Littles (the kids/younger ones)
Child alters are present in almost all cases of DID and their age can vary depending on the day, or sometimes they'll stay the same age all the time. These alters are innocent and can be hurt very easily. The rest of the alters in the system (sometimes even the angry one) are very protective of the littles and if one of them gets hurt it can cause all kinds of problems with all the alters e.g. trust issues, depression etc. The littles usually only come out if they know its ok for them to do so, if they're on their own or if they're in the company of someone they consider to be safe. Be wary that even though they're children, some can be very advanced children. Some child alters may not be able to read or write but may have the capability of driving a car for instance. It all depends on the system. However, no matter how advanced they seem to be, they should still be kept safe from things like sexual activity and such.

4) The Protectors
There are various kinds of protectors. Some protectors can also be classed as saboteurs (described below). One kind of protector can protect against emotional abuse. These protectors are normally quite quick-witted and can talk back to any insults that they are subjected to. At other times these protectors can be quiet at times when it's best for them not to retaliate. Some protectors protect the system from the external world, like being abused or being threatened. Others are internal protectors that try to keep the younger ones safe and try to control any chaos that's going on inside. What about protectors that can also be classed as saboteurs? These alters are normally very aggressive and hostile to anyone who comes close and come out to try to eliminate any perceived threat. They use physical and verbal abuse to keep away anyone who tries to get close to prevent any of the system being let down or hurt. With these protectors it's very obvious when they come out as they present completely differently to the depressed and introvert host. With the quieter protectors, they can normally try and impersonate the host/original personality. It can be hard to identify the difference unless you know what signs to look out for. Depending on the alter, they can have varying strengths from extremely dominating, to medium strength.

5) The Saboteur/Angry One (self-destroyers)
The title in itself explains it. The angry one or saboteur is created from a mixture of anger, frustration and hatred, often because the host hasn't expressed it properly. This type of alter is usually purely impulse-driven and has little thought or doesnt even care about the consequences of their actions. They normally don't like to show themselves but when they get to the point of becoming really angry they can burst out, almost like an explosion. These kinds of alters can also be several times as strong as the host, abnormally fast and agile, and be uneffected by pain (or even enjoy it). If an alter like this should come out then communication should be done in controlled circumstances to avoid the danger to themselves and to other people. Often this alter is very domineering and doesn't get on very well with the rest of the alters. They know the rules but mostly don't abide by them. They can be controlled if an equally strong alter is available, though even this may not help. 
A saboteur could be quite the opposite and be quite quiet although they may feel suicidal. Angry ones or saboteurs or suicidal alters need to be treated carefully if their aim is to destroy or kill the system. Sometimes there can be alters which are a mixture of all three which can make a situation very volatile.

6) The Rational One
A rational alter doesn't make decisions based on emotion. These types of alters are logical, rational and forward-thinking. Sometimes they can also be internal helpers, seeing through the trauma and negativity to find a solution that works for everyone. They're clear-headed and aren't clouded by any anger, sadness or depression unless in extreme circumstances when the system is close to collapse (this can happen during a crisis period). Sometimes these alters are referred to as Inner Self Helpers (ISHs). They often know a lot about the host and other alters. They know how the system works mostly and are often the only ones who have some form of control over saboteurs/angry protectors. This control can vary depending on the situation. The rational alter also has rules within the system and the majority of the alters usually abide by them, though obviously there can be slips! 

7) The Sexual One (seducer, flirter)
What's more to say?! This type of alter will often seek out sexual interaction. They can be promiscuous, overly flirtatious and try to seduce anyone they want. They can be of any gender or sexuality and their individual personality will vary between systems. The sexual one is considered one of the weaker personalities as, in the beginning, they'll usually only come out to flirt or have sex. Given time, they will also start to come out in situations that they consider safe. They're sexual behaviours can be fuelled by many things, not only lust. It's best to be careful around this kind of alter as sometimes they have been sexually abused and can view themselves only as 'sex machines'. Even if they present as bubbly and excitable, the sexual one can be one of the more damaged personalities within the system.

8) Fragments
Fragments aren't fully formed personalities. They can represent emotions, objects, a specific memory. These fragments are normally called things like "The Sad One" or "The Angry One". Once these fragments have been identified and the feelings they hold are dealt with then they filter into the background. Sometimes alters can be objects. Not ordinary objects, they're objects with consciousness, such as notebooks that write themselves.

9) Pets (less common)
The majority of families have pets, as do some systems. Animal alters can either be like a family pet that the alters look after like you would a cat or a dog in a family, or they can be wild animals or protective animals such as a tiger or an eagle that keeps guard of the system.

That's as much as I know about different types of alters so far. If any of you have any questions or would like me to add or change something then feel free to ask. This post is quite a free-flowing post and won't apply to everybody, or it could apply completely! It all depends. Like I said before, everyone is different. I hope I explained the types of alters clearly and also hope that if there's anything I can explain a little more clearly that you will let me know :)

Saturday, 22 June 2013

How do you deal with angry alters?

This is more of a question to my readers and supporters more than anything else, and maybe there are some of you who have the exact same question and have no answer!

So, how do you deal with angry alters? Especially when such an alter is one of the strongest at the time? Medication? Well, with my angry alter, Sally, she needs about 4 times as much medication to get her calm than I need. She runs on pure rage and adrenalin, totally unrational and illogical. How are you supposed to deal with that? Sally also refuses to actively participate or cooperate with my therapy, how does that work? The problem is, with an alter like Sally, you make little to no actual progress until the alter starts to cooperate and integrate into therapy. 

I don't know whether some of you are the same but Sally also suffers from what's called 'delusional separateness'. Putting it simply, she cannot even consider the idea that she's a multiple. She believes she has her own individual body and the rest of us share. That's also a problem as it means her homicidal and aggressive tendencies get let out against other alters, and also puts us in very dangerous situations as she believes she's in no danger at all!

Today's blog post was partly to see if there's anyone with any answers to that. I'll be writing tomorrow with a more helpful post, but curiosity got the better of me today! What doesn't help is the co-strongest alter, David, has decided to disappear. We haven't heard from him since last night and he's the only one who has any form of control over Sally. I really don't know what to do. If anything it could end up with us being in hospital again, although of course Sally doesn't believe she'd be coming with us. We've managed to stay out for about three and a half months now, I'd like to make that gap a LOT bigger!!

Any responses are welcome and appreciated. If its worked for you, offer it. If you've heard about it from a friend, offer it. Don't be scared about 'sounding stupid'. You're talking to someone who is about 18 people at the moment! 

Take care all :)

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Alter Photos

Clarissa was desperate for me to put up photos of her and the other alters. I've decided to do this though I haven't added all of these due to the fact some of them aren't ready to be so open yet. If you'd like to see these then visit this page and go to the 'My Alters' album :)

www.facebook.com/DIDCampaign

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Alters and Facebook

Should alters have their own Facebook pages? I both agree and disagree with this.

I'll start with the reason I disagree. Many people with DID live their lives in secrecy, which is half the reason why it can take so long to diagnose the disorder. When alters start making their own Facebook pages things can start getting very complicated. For instance, alters see themselves as how they 'really  look'. They don't see themselves as a variation of the physical body, they see themselves as different people. Some alters can get very confused by this if they don't understand yet that they are all part of the same body. Photos can be confusing. Some of my alters have made their own profiles and one in particular was quite upset that people didn't see her the way she sees herself. This meant she ended up searching online for a photo that she thought was close to resembling her 'true face'. Not only is this confusing for the alters, but also for the people they end up communicating with online! It's not too bad if people you know know about your DID but what if they're strangers that they've decided to make friends with? What about the private messages you don't know they're having? What about any meetings they're planning to arrange that, again, you don't know about? This goes back to the complexity of being a multiple!

In other ways though, there are some pros to the whole idea. It allows alters to communicate with each other and also to communicate with other people. They have the option of being themselves and they have the option to be more open with one another and help other alters who don't yet understand the concept of being a multiple. In my experience alone, having alters on Facebook has been helpful as I've also met other people with DID and the alters all friend request each other and can talk openly without being scared of being judged. Also, since my first alter made a Facebook, we've also found out that an unknown alter has now felt comfortable revealing herself. I guess the Internet is easier to use rather than face to face contact. I can say that I much prefer writing things down rather than speaking to people!

Overall, depending on your situation, alters on Facebook can be a good thing. To me it is, mostly, because I'm actively trying to raise awareness of the disorder. If people want to be friends with my alters then that's perfectly fine with me. What surprised me was that a shy alter who didn't want to be known has found it easier to be on Facebook and work from there. Unfortunately for her she has no idea she's a multiple but I know she is having conversations with Clarissa (another alter) who is trying to explain, to no avail as yet.

Have you got alters that have their on social networking profiles? Have they worked for you or have they just caused chaos? Opinions are welcome either on the DID Campaign page or on this blog.

Father's Day Card

It may be 4 days after Father's Day (or P's day as I prefer to call it) but I promised to post a picture of the card that I drew for P. His favourite animal is a tiger so I spent ages looking at tiger photos on google until deciding on this tiger cub :3 


Be Positive

This is a photo that one of my alters decided to share on Facebook and I thought it would be nice to share it in a blog post :)

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

SO's Guide to D.I.D

I found this page from one of my friends and had a quick read through it. It's a guide for any SO (significant other) or loved one who would like to be able to help their partner/friend/family member with their DID and to be able to understand it a little better. The guide is written by an SO himself and from his point of view. Bare in mind that it is American so some bits he talks about (such as insurance) won't apply if you're like me and live in the UK with the NHS system.